No More Learning

Let me take
with me the consciousness that you would have died for me. But you
must stay and live. No more delay. I must no longer interfere with
your chance of pardon, nor you with my resolve. It is a sort of
cowardice to go on talking about the end. Here is your best proof of
my determination: I complain of no one. To blame gods or men is his
alone who fain would keep his life. '

After some such speech as this he urged them courteously to hurry 48
away and not to exasperate the victor by their hesitation. To each
man's age and position he paid due regard, using his authority with
the young and persuasion with his elders, while his quiet looks and
firm speech helped to control their ill-timed tears. He gave orders
for boats and carriages to be provided for their departure. All
petitions and letters containing any compliments to himself, or marked
insults to Vitellius, he destroyed, and distributed his money
carefully, not like a man at the point of death. He then actually
tried to comfort the sorrowful fears of his nephew, Salvius
Cocceianus,[319] by praising his attachment and chiding his alarm. 'Do
you imagine,' he said, 'that Vitellius will be so hard-hearted as not
to show me some gratitude for saving his whole household? By promptly
putting an end to myself, I deserve to earn some mercy for my family.
For it is not in blank despair, but with my army clamouring for
battle, that I determine to save my country from the last calamities.
I have won enough fame for myself and ennoblement for my posterity;
for, after the line of the Julians, Claudians, Servians,[320] I have
been the first to bring the principate into a new family. So rouse
yourself and go on with your life. Never forget that Otho was your
uncle, yet keep your remembrance within bounds. '


After this he made them all retire and rested for a while. But his 49
last reflections were interrupted by a sudden disturbance and the news
of a mutinous outbreak among the troops. They were threatening to kill
all those who were leaving, and turned with especial violence against
Verginius,[321] whose house was in a state of siege. Otho rebuked the
ringleaders and returned, consenting to receive the adieux of those
who were going, until it was time for them to depart in safety. As the
day deepened into evening he quenched his thirst with a drink of iced
water. Two daggers were brought to him and, after trying them both, he
put one under his pillow. Being assured on inquiry that his friends
had started, he spent a peaceful night, not, it is said, without
sleep. At break of day[322] he fell upon his dagger. Hearing his dying
groan, his slaves and freedmen entered with Plotius Firmus, the
Prefect of the Guards, and found a single wound in his breast. The
funeral was hurried forward out of respect for his own earnest
entreaties, for he had been afraid his head might be cut off and
subjected to outrage. The Guard carried the body, sounding his praises
with tears in their eyes, and covering his hands and wounded breast
with kisses. Some of the soldiers killed themselves beside the pyre,
not because they had harmed Vitellius or feared reprisals, but from
love of their emperor, and to follow his noble example. Similar
suicides became common afterwards at Bedriacum and Placentia, and in
other encampments.