No More Learning

DICAEOPOLIS. For my own part, I make proclamation to all Peloponnesians,
Megarians and Boeotians, that to them my markets are open; but I debar
Lamachus from entering them.

CHORUS. Convinced by this man's speech, the folk have changed their view
and approve him for having concluded peace. But let us prepare for the
recital of the parabasis. [221]

Never since our poet presented Comedies, has he praised himself upon the
stage; but, having been slandered by his enemies amongst the volatile
Athenians, accused of scoffing at his country and of insulting the
people, to-day he wishes to reply and regain for himself the inconstant
Athenians. He maintains that he has done much that is good for you; if
you no longer allow yourselves to be too much hoodwinked by strangers or
seduced by flattery, if in politics you are no longer the ninnies you
once were, it is thanks to him. Formerly, when delegates from other
cities wanted to deceive you, they had but to style you, "the people
crowned with violets," and, at the word "violets" you at once sat erect
on the tips of your bums. Or, if to tickle your vanity, someone spoke of
"rich and sleek Athens," in return for that 'sleekness' he would get all,
because he spoke of you as he would have of anchovies in oil. In
cautioning you against such wiles, the poet has done you great service as
well as in forcing you to understand what is really the democratic
principle. Thus, the strangers, who came to pay their tributes, wanted to
see this great poet, who had dared to speak the truth to Athens. And so
far has the fame of his boldness reached that one day the Great King,
when questioning the Lacedaemonian delegates, first asked them which of
the two rival cities was the superior at sea, and then immediately
demanded at which it was that the comic poet directed his biting satire.
"Happy that city," he added, "if it listens to his counsel; it will grow
in power, and its victory is assured. " This is why the Lacedaemonians
offer you peace, if you will cede them Aegina; not that they care for the
isle, but they wish to rob you of your poet. [222] As for you, never lose
him, who will always fight for the cause of justice in his Comedies; he
promises you that his precepts will lead you to happiness, though he uses
neither flattery, nor bribery, nor intrigue, nor deceit; instead of
loading you with praise, he will point you to the better way.
I scoff at
Cleon's tricks and plotting; honesty and justice shall fight my cause;
never will you find me a political poltroon, a prostitute to the highest
bidder.

I invoke thee, Acharnian Muse, fierce and fell as the devouring fire;
sudden as the spark that bursts from the crackling oaken coal when roused
by the quickening fan to fry little fishes, while others knead the dough
or whip the sharp Thasian pickle with rapid hand, so break forth, my
Muse, and inspire thy tribesmen with rough, vigorous, stirring strains.

We others, now old men and heavy with years, we reproach the city; so
many are the victories we have gained for the Athenian fleets that we
well deserve to be cared for in our declining life; yet far from this, we
are ill-used, harassed with law-suits, delivered over to the scorn of
stripling orators. Our minds and bodies being ravaged with age, Posidon
should protect us, yet we have no other support than a staff. When
standing before the judge, we can scarcely stammer forth the fewest
words, and of justice we see but its barest shadow, whereas the accuser,
desirous of conciliating the younger men, overwhelms us with his ready
rhetoric; he drags us before the judge, presses us with questions, lays
traps for us; the onslaught troubles, upsets and rends poor old Tithonus,
who, crushed with age, stands tongue-tied; sentenced to a fine,[223] he
weeps, he sobs and says to his friend, "This fine robs me of the last
trifle that was to have bought my coffin. "

Is this not a scandal? What! the clepsydra[224] is to kill the
white-haired veteran, who, in fierce fighting, has so oft covered himself
with glorious sweat, whose valour at Marathon saved the country! 'Twas we
who pursued on the field of Marathon, whereas now 'tis wretches who
pursue us to the death and crush us! What would Marpsias reply to
this? [225] What an injustice, that a man, bent with age like Thucydides,
should be brow-beaten by this braggart advocate, Cephisodemus,[226] who
is as savage as the Scythian desert he was born in! Is it not to convict
him from the outset? I wept tears of pity when I saw an Archer[227]
maltreat this old man, who, by Ceres, when he was young and the true
Thucydides, would not have permitted an insult from Ceres herself! At
that date he would have floored ten miserable orators, he would have
terrified three thousand Archers with his shouts; he would have pierced
the whole line of the enemy with his shafts. Ah! but if you will not
leave the aged in peace, decree that the advocates be matched; thus the
old man will only be confronted with a toothless greybeard, the young
will fight with the braggart, the ignoble with the son of Clinias[228];
make a law that in future, the old man can only be summoned and convicted
at the courts by the aged and the young man by the youth.