No More Learning

"Now, gentlemen, we must decide how we mean to act against the rebels.
Shall it be offensively or defensively? Each way has its disadvantages
and its advantages. Offensive warfare offers more hope of the enemy
being speedily crushed; but a defensive war is surer and less dangerous.
Consequently we will collect the votes according to the proper order,
that is to say, begin first consulting the juniors in respect of rank.
Now, Mr. Ensign," continued he, addressing me, "be so good as to give us
your opinion. "

I rose, and after having depicted in a few words Pugatchef and his band,
I declared that the usurper was not in a state to resist disciplined
troops. My opinion was received by the civil officials with visible
discontent.

They saw in it the headstrong impertinence of youth.

A murmur arose, and I distinctly heard said, half-aloud, the words,
"Beardless boy. " The General turned towards me, and smilingly said--

"Mr. Ensign, the early votes in a council of war are generally for
offensive measures. Now we will proceed. Mr.
College Counsellor, tell us
your opinion? "

The little old man in the watered silk coat made haste to swallow his
third cup of tea, which he had mixed with a good help of rum.

"I think, your excellency," said he, "we must neither act on the
defensive nor yet on the offensive. "

"How so, Mr. Counsellor? " replied the General, astounded. "There is
nothing else open to us in tactics--one must act either on the defensive
or the offensive. "

"Your excellency, endeavour to suborn. "

"Eh! eh! your opinion is very judicious; the act of corruption is one
admitted by the rules of war, and we will profit by your counsel. We
might offer for the rascal's head seventy or even a hundred roubles, and
take them from the secret funds. "

"And then," interrupted the head of the Customs, "I'm a Kirghiz instead
of a College Counsellor if these robbers do not deliver up their ataman,
chained hand and foot. "

"We will think of it, and talk of it again," rejoined the General.
"Still, in any case, we must also take military measures. Gentlemen,
give your votes in proper order.