No More Learning

SGANARELLE: I will not.

GERONTE: What!

SGANARELLE: I don't practise for money.

GERONTE: I am sure you don't.

SGANARELLE (_after having taken the money_): Is it
good weight?

GERONTE: Yes, monsieur.

SGANARELLE: I am not a mercenary doctor.

GERONTE: I know that.

SGANARELLE: Self-interest is not my motive.

GERONTE: I never for a moment thought it was.

[_Exit_.


ACT II

Leandre, between whom and Lucinde a mutual attachment subsists, has
an interview with Sganarelle, at which he implores the latter's
assistance to obtain a meeting with his mistress, and tells him that
her dumbness is a mere trick--a sham illness which she has feigned
to free herself from a distasteful marriage into which her father
wants to hurry her. In consideration of a purse of gold which Leandre
gives him, Sganarelle introduces the young lover into M. Geronte's
house as his apothecary, and when Leandre asks whether it is not
necessary to know five or six long medical words with which to lard
his conversation, ridicules the notion, and says that a medical dress
is quite sufficient disguise. "I am resolved to stick to physic all my
life," says Sganarelle.
"I find that it is the best line of all; for
whatever we do, right or wrong, we are paid, all the same. Blunders
make no odds to us; we cut away the material we have to work with as
we choose. A shoemaker, in making a pair of shoes, cannot spoil a
scrap of leather without having to pay for it; but in this business we
can spoil a man without its costing us a cent. The mistakes are never
put down to our account; it is always the fault of the fellow who
dies. "

[_Enter_ JACQUELINE, LUCINDE, GERONTE, LEANDRE _and_ SGANARELLE.

JACQUELINE: Here's your daughter, monsieur. She
wishes to walk a bit.

SGANARELLE: It will do her good. Go to her, Mr.
Apothecary, and feel her pulse, and I will consult with
you presently about her malady. (_At this point he draws_
GERONTE _to one side of the stage, puts one arm on his
shoulders, places his hand under his chin, and makes him
turn towards him, whenever_ GERONTE _wants to see what
is going on between his daughter and the apothecary,
while he holds the following discourse with him to keep
his attention_:) Monsieur, it is a great and subtle question
among doctors whether women are easier to cure
than men. I beg you please listen to this. Some say
"no," some say "yes. " I say both "yes" and "no";
for as the incongruity of the opaque humours which are
found in the natural temperament of women causes the
animal side always to struggle for mastery over the
spiritual, we find that the inequality of their opinions
depends on the oblique motion of the circle of the moon;
and as the sun----

LUCINDE: NO, I can never change my feelings.

GERONTE: Hark! My daughter speaks!