How a
stranger
would laugh, if he saw you.
Aristophanes
Heracles, the bold.
AEACUS. Ah! wretched, impudent, shameless, threefold rascal, the most
rascally of rascals. Ah! 'tis you who hunted out our dog Cerberus, whose
keeper I was! But I have got you to-day; and the black stones of Styx,
the rocks of Acheron, from which the blood is dripping, and the roaming
dogs of Cocytus shall account to me for you; the hundred-headed Hydra
shall tear your sides to pieces; the Tartessian Muraena[438] shall fasten
itself on your lungs and the Tithrasian[439] Gorgons shall tear your
kidneys and your gory entrails to shreds; I will go and fetch them as
quickly as possible.
XANTHIAS. Eh! what are you doing there?
DIONYSUS (_stooping down_). I have just shit myself! Invoke the god. [440]
XANTHIAS. Get up at once.
How a stranger would laugh, if he saw you.
DIONYSUS. Ah! I'm fainting. Place a sponge on my heart.
XANTHIAS. Here, take it.
DIONYSUS. Place it yourself.
XANTHIAS. But where? Good gods, where _is_ your heart?
DIONYSUS. It has sunk into my shoes with fear. (_Takes his slave's hand
holding the sponge, and applies it to his bottom. _)
XANTHIAS.
AEACUS. Ah! wretched, impudent, shameless, threefold rascal, the most
rascally of rascals. Ah! 'tis you who hunted out our dog Cerberus, whose
keeper I was! But I have got you to-day; and the black stones of Styx,
the rocks of Acheron, from which the blood is dripping, and the roaming
dogs of Cocytus shall account to me for you; the hundred-headed Hydra
shall tear your sides to pieces; the Tartessian Muraena[438] shall fasten
itself on your lungs and the Tithrasian[439] Gorgons shall tear your
kidneys and your gory entrails to shreds; I will go and fetch them as
quickly as possible.
XANTHIAS. Eh! what are you doing there?
DIONYSUS (_stooping down_). I have just shit myself! Invoke the god. [440]
XANTHIAS. Get up at once.
How a stranger would laugh, if he saw you.
DIONYSUS. Ah! I'm fainting. Place a sponge on my heart.
XANTHIAS. Here, take it.
DIONYSUS. Place it yourself.
XANTHIAS. But where? Good gods, where _is_ your heart?
DIONYSUS. It has sunk into my shoes with fear. (_Takes his slave's hand
holding the sponge, and applies it to his bottom. _)
XANTHIAS.
