No More Learning

First of all, how is Sophocles?

TRYGAEUS. Very well; but something very strange has happened to him.

HERMES. What then?

TRYGAEUS. He has turned from Sophocles into Simonides. [322]

HERMES. Into Simonides? How so?

TRYGAEUS. Because, though old and broken-down as he is, he would put to
sea on a hurdle to gain an obolus. [323]

HERMES. And wise Cratinus, is he still alive? [324]

TRYGAEUS.
He died about the time of the Laconian invasion.

HERMES. How?

TRYGAEUS. Of a swoon. He could not bear the shock of seeing one of his
casks full of wine broken. Ah! what a number of other misfortunes our
city has suffered! So, dearest mistress, nothing can now separate us from
thee.

HERMES. If that be so, receive Opora here for a wife; take her to the
country, live with her, and grow fine grapes together. [325]

TRYGAEUS. Come, my dear friend, come and accept my kisses. Tell me,
Hermes, my master, do you think it would hurt me to fuck her a little,
after so long an abstinence?

HERMES. No, not if you swallow a potion of penny-royal afterwards.