No More Learning

"'But the quest,' the king went on, 'have you seen the cup that Joseph
brought long ago to Glastonbury? '

"Then when I told him all that you have been hearing just now and how I
was going to give up the tournament and tilt and pass into the quiet of
the life of the monk, he answered not a word, but turning quickly to
Gawain asked,

"'Gawain, was this quest for you? '

"'No, Lord,' replied Gawain, 'not for such as I. I talked with a saintly
old man about that and he made me very sure that it wasn't for me. I was
very tired of it. But I found a silk pavilion in the field with a lot of
merry girls in it, then this gale tore it off from the tenting pin and
blew my merry maidens all about with a great deal of discomfort. If it
hadn't been for that storm my twelve months and a day would have passed
very pleasantly for me. '

"Then Arthur turned to Sir Bors, who had pushed across the throng at
once to Lancelot's side, caught him by the hand and held it there half
hidden beside him until the king spied them.

"'Hail, Bors, if ever a true and loyal man could see the Grail you have
seen it,' cried Arthur.

"'Don't ask me about it,' replied Sir Bors with tears in his eyes 'I may
not speak about it; I saw it. '

"The others spoke only about the perils of their storm, and then it was
Lancelot's turn. Perhaps Arthur kept his best for the last.

"'My Lancelot,' said the king, 'our Strongest, has the quest availed for
you? '

"'Our strongest, O King! ' groaned Lancelot and as he paused I thought I
saw a dying fire of madness in his eyes.
'O King, my friend, a sin lived
in me that was so strange that everything pure, noble and knightly in me
twined and clung around it until the good and the poisonous in me grew
together, and when your knights swore to make the quest I swore only in
the hope that could I see or touch the Holy Grail they might be pulled
apart. Then I spoke to a holy saint who said that if they could not be
plucked apart my quest would be all in vain. So I vowed to him that I
would do just as he told me, and while I was out trying to tear them
away from each other my old madness came back to me and whipped me off
into waste fields far away.

"There I was beaten down by little knights whom at one time I would have
frightened away just by the shadow of my spear. From there I rode over
to the sea-shore where such a blast of wind began to blow that you could
not hear the waves even although they were heaped up in mountains and
drove the sea like a cataract, while the sand on the beach swept by like
a river. A boat, half-swallowed by the seafoam, was moored to the shore
by a chain. I said to myself that I would embark in the boat and lose
myself and wash away my sin in the great sea.

"For seven days I rode around over the dreary water and on the seventh
night I felt the boat striking ground. In front of me rose the enchanted
towers of Carbonek, a castle like a rock upon a rock, with portals open
to the sea and steps that met the waves. A lion sat on each side of
them. I went up the steps and drew my sword. Suddenly flaring their
manes the lions stood up like men and gripped me on my shoulders. When I
was about to strike them a voice said to me, 'Don't be afraid, or the
beasts will tear you to pieces; go on. ' Then my sword was dashed
violently from my hand and fell. Up into the sounding hall I passed but
saw not a bench, table, picture, shield or anything else except the moon
over the sea through the oriel window, but I heard a sweet voice as
clear as a lark singing in the topmost tower to the east. I climbed up a
thousand steps with great pain.