No More Learning

Goodfellow had, since the death of Mr.
Shuttleworthy, given over all expectation of ever receiving the promised
Chateau-Margaux; and he, therefore, looked upon it now as a sort
of especial dispensation of Providence in his behalf. He was highly
delighted, of course, and in the exuberance of his joy invited a large
party of friends to a petit souper on the morrow, for the purpose of
broaching the good old Mr. Shuttleworthy's present. Not that he said
any thing about "the good old Mr. Shuttleworthy" when he issued the
invitations. The fact is, he thought much and concluded to say nothing
at all. He did not mention to any one--if I remember aright--that he had
received a present of Chateau-Margaux. He merely asked his friends to
come and help him drink some, of a remarkable fine quality and rich
flavour, that he had ordered up from the city a couple of months ago,
and of which he would be in the receipt upon the morrow. I have often
puzzled myself to imagine why it was that "Old Charley" came to the
conclusion to say nothing about having received the wine from his
old friend, but I could never precisely understand his reason for the
silence, although he had some excellent and very magnanimous reason, no
doubt.

The morrow at length arrived, and with it a very large and highly
respectable company at Mr. Goodfellow's house. Indeed, half the borough
was there,--I myself among the number,--but, much to the vexation of the
host, the Chateau-Margaux did not arrive until a late hour, and when
the sumptuous supper supplied by "Old Charley" had been done very ample
justice by the guests. It came at length, however,--a monstrously big
box of it there was, too--and as the whole party were in excessively
good humor, it was decided, nem. con.
, that it should be lifted upon the
table and its contents disembowelled forthwith.

No sooner said than done. I lent a helping hand; and, in a trice we had
the box upon the table, in the midst of all the bottles and glasses, not
a few of which were demolished in the scuffle. "Old Charley," who was
pretty much intoxicated, and excessively red in the face, now took a
seat, with an air of mock dignity, at the head of the board, and thumped
furiously upon it with a decanter, calling upon the company to keep
order "during the ceremony of disinterring the treasure. "

After some vociferation, quiet was at length fully restored, and, as
very often happens in similar cases, a profound and remarkable silence
ensued. Being then requested to force open the lid, I complied, of
course, "with an infinite deal of pleasure. " I inserted a chisel, and
giving it a few slight taps with a hammer, the top of the box flew
suddenly off, and at the same instant, there sprang up into a sitting
position, directly facing the host, the bruised, bloody, and nearly
putrid corpse of the murdered Mr. Shuttleworthy himself. It gazed for a
few seconds, fixedly and sorrowfully, with its decaying and lack-lustre
eyes, full into the countenance of Mr. Goodfellow; uttered slowly,
but clearly and impressively, the words--"Thou art the man! " and then,
falling over the side of the chest as if thoroughly satisfied, stretched
out its limbs quiveringly upon the table.

The scene that ensued is altogether beyond description. The rush for the
doors and windows was terrific, and many of the most robust men in the
room fainted outright through sheer horror. But after the first wild,
shrieking burst of affright, all eyes were directed to Mr. Goodfellow.
If I live a thousand years, I can never forget the more than mortal
agony which was depicted in that ghastly face of his, so lately rubicund
with triumph and wine.