No More Learning

Remove the pan into the next room, and place it on the floor. Bring it back
again, and let it simmer for three-quarters of an hour. Shake the pan
violently till all the Amblongusses have become of a pale purple color.

Then, having prepared the paste, insert the whole carefully; adding at the
same time a small pigeon, 2 slices of beef, 4 cauliflowers, and any number
of oysters.

Watch patiently till the crust begins to rise, and add a pinch of salt from
time to time.

Serve up in a clean dish, and throw the whole out of window as fast as
possible.


TO MAKE CRUMBOBBLIOUS CUTLETS.

Procure some strips of beef, and, having cut them into the smallest
possible slices, proceed to cut them still smaller,--eight, or perhaps
nine times.

When the whole is thus minced, brush it up hastily with a new
clothes-brush, and stir round rapidly and capriciously with a salt-spoon
or a soup-ladle.

Place the whole in a saucepan, and remove it to a sunny place,--say the
roof of the house, if free from sparrows or other birds,--and leave it
there for about a week.

At the end of that time add a little lavender, some oil of almonds, and a
few herring-bones; and then cover the whole with 4 gallons of clarified
Crumbobblious sauce, when it will be ready for use.

Cut it into the shape of ordinary cutlets, and serve up in a clean
table-cloth or dinner-napkin.


TO MAKE GOSKY PATTIES.

Take a pig three or four years of age, and tie him by the off hind-leg to a
post. Place 5 pounds of currants, 3 of sugar, 2 pecks of peas, 18 roast
chestnuts, a candle, and 6 bushels of turnips, within his reach: if he eats
these, constantly provide him with more.
Then procure some cream, some slices of Cheshire cheese, 4 quires of
foolscap paper, and a packet of black pins. Work the whole into a paste,
and spread it out to dry on a sheet of clean brown waterproof linen.

When the paste is perfectly dry, but not before, proceed to beat the pig
violently with the handle of a large broom. If he squeals, beat him again.

Visit the paste and beat the pig alternately for some days, and ascertain
if, at the end of that period, the whole is about to turn into Gosky
Patties.

If it does not then, it never will; and in that case the pig may be let
loose, and the whole process may be considered as finished.

* * * * *




NONSENSE BOTANY.


[Illustration: Baccopipia Gracilis. ]

[Illustration: Bottlephorkia Spoonifolia. ]

[Illustration: Cockatooca Superba. ]

[Illustration: Fishia Marina. ]

[Illustration: Guittara Pensilis. ]

[Illustration: Manypeeplia Upsidownia. ]

[Illustration: Phattfacia Stupenda. ]

[Illustration: Piggiwiggia Pyramidalis. ]

[Illustration: Plumbunnia Nutritiosa.