No More Learning

'

Ef _I_ turned mad dogs loose, John,
On _your_ front-parlor stairs, 20
Would it jest meet your views, John,
To wait an' sue their heirs?
Ole Uncle S. sez he, 'I guess,
I on'y guess,' sez he,
'Thet ef Vattel on _his_ toes fell,
'Twould kind o' rile J. B. ,
Ez wal ez you an' me! '

Who made the law thet hurts, John,
_Heads I win,--ditto tails? _
'J. B. ' was on his shirts, John, 30
Onless my memory fails.
Ole Uncle S. sez he, 'I guess
(I'm good at thet),' sez he,
'Thet sauce for goose ain't _jest_ the juice
For ganders with J. B. ,
No more 'n with you or me! '

When your rights was our wrongs, John,
You didn't stop for fuss,--
Britanny's trident prongs, John,
Was good 'nough law for us. 40
Ole Uncle S.
sez he, 'I guess,
Though physic's good,' sez he,
'It doesn't foller thet he can swaller
Prescriptions signed "J. B. ,"
Put up by you an' me! '

We own the ocean, tu, John:
You mus'n' take it hard,
Ef we can't think with you, John,
It's jest your own back-yard. 49
Ole Uncle S. sez he, 'I guess,
Ef _thet's_ his claim,' sez he,
'The fencin' stuff'll cost enough
To bust up friend J. B. ,
Ez wal ez you an' me! '

Why talk so dreffle big, John,
Of honor when it meant
You didn't care a fig, John,
But jest for _ten per cent? _
Ole Uncle S. sez he, 'I guess
He's like the rest,' sez he: 60
'When all is done, it's number one
Thet's nearest to J. B. ,
Ez wal ez t' you an' me! '

We give the critters back, John,
Cos Abram thought 'twas right;
It warn't your bullyin' clack, John,
Provokin' us to fight.
Ole Uncle S. sez he, 'I guess
We've a hard row,' sez he,
'To hoe jest now; but thet, somehow, 70
May happen to J.