No More Learning

HERALD. A Lacedaemonian 'skytale. '[453]

MAGISTRATE. Oh, indeed, a 'skytale,' is it? Well, well, speak out
frankly; I know all about these matters. How are things going at Sparta
now?

HERALD. Why, everything is turned upside down at Sparta; and all the
allies are half dead with lusting. We simply must have Pellene. [454]

MAGISTRATE. What is the reason of it all? Is it the god Pan's doing?

HERALD. No, but Lampito's and the Spartan women's, acting at her
instigation; they have denied the men all access to their cunts.

MAGISTRATE.
But whatever do you do?

HERALD. We are at our wits' end; we walk bent double, just as if we were
carrying lanterns in a wind. The jades have sworn we shall not so much as
touch their cunts till we have all agreed to conclude peace.

MAGISTRATE. Ha, ha! So I see now, 'tis a general conspiracy embracing all
Greece. Go you back to Sparta and bid them send Envoys with plenary
powers to treat for peace. I will urge our Senators myself to name
Plenipotentiaries from us; and to persuade them, why, I will show them
this. (_Pointing to his erect penis. _)

HERALD. What could be better? I fly at your command.

CHORUS OF OLD MEN. No wild beast is there, no flame of fire, more fierce
and untameable than woman; the panther is less savage and shameless.

CHORUS OF WOMEN.