No More Learning

ACT III

SCENE. --_A room in the_ GOVERNOR'S _house_. GOVERNOR, KHELSTAKOV, _and
other functionaries_.

KHELSTAKOV: Fine establishments! In other towns they showed me
nothing.

GOVERNOR: In other towns I venture to say that the officials
think most about their own profit; here we only aim at winning the
approbation of the government.

KHELSTAKOV: That lunch was very good! The fish was delicious! Where
was it that we lunched? Was it not at the hospital? I saw the beds,
but there were not many patients. Have the sick recovered?

GOVERNOR: Yes. Since I became governor they all get well like flies,
not so much by doctoring as by honesty and regularity. Thank God,
everything goes satisfactorily here!
Another governor would undoubtedly
look after his own advantage; but, believe me, when I lie down to
sleep, my prayer is, "O Thou my Lord, may the government perceive my
zeal and be satisfied. " So I have an easy conscience.

KHELSTAKOV: Are there any clubs here where a game at cards could be
had?

GOVERNOR: God forbid! Here such a thing as a card-club is never heard
of. I am disgusted at the sight of a card, and never dealt one in my
life. Once to amuse the children I built a house of cards, and had
accursed dreams all night.

LUKA (_aside_): But the villain cheated me yesterday out of a hundred
roubles!

Introduced to the governor's wife and daughter, Khlestakov addresses
them in the manner of a gallant from the metropolis, and chatters
boastfully of his influence, his position, and his connections.
His house is the first in St. Petersburg. Meantime, the various
functionaries meet in the house of the governor to concert measures
for propitiating this great courtier. They resolve to present him with
a substantial token of regard. With great trepidation they wait on him.

JUDGE (_entering very nervously_): I have the honour to present
myself. I have been judge here since 1816, and have been decorated
with the Vladimir of the Fourth Class.