No More Learning

9.

Then he gazed on a town by besiegers taken,
Nor cared he who were winning;
But he saw an old maid, for years forsaken,
Get up and leave her spinning; 80
And she looked in her glass, and to one that did pass,
She said--"pray are the rapes beginning? "[39]

10.

But the Devil has reached our cliffs so white,
And what did he there, I pray?
If his eyes were good, he but saw by night
What we see every day;
But he made a tour and kept a journal
Of all the wondrous sights nocturnal,
And he sold it in shares to the _Men_ of the _Row_,
Who bid pretty well--but they _cheated_ him, though! 90

11.

The Devil first saw, as he thought, the _Mail_,
Its coachman and his coat;
So instead of a pistol he cocked his tail,
And seized him by the throat;
"Aha! " quoth he, "what have we here?
'T is a new barouche, and an ancient peer! "[40]

12.

So he sat him on his box again,
And bade him have no fear,
But be true to his club, and staunch to his rein,
His brothel and his beer; 100
"Next to seeing a Lord at the Council board,
I would rather see him here. "

13.

Satan hired a horse and gig
With promises to pay;
And he pawned his horns for a spruce new wig,
To redeem as he came away:
And he whistled some tune, a waltz or a jig,
And drove off at the close of day.

14.

The first place he stopped at--he heard the Psalm
That rung from a Methodist Chapel: 110
"'T is the best sound I've heard," quoth he, "since my palm
Presented Eve her apple!
When _Faith_ is all, 't is an excellent sign,
That the _Works_ and Workmen both are mine. "

15.

He passed Tommy Tyrwhitt,[41] that standing jest,
To princely wit a Martyr:
But the last joke of all was by far the best,
When he sailed away with "the Garter"!
"And"--quoth Satan--"this Embassy's worthy my sight,
Should I see nothing else to amuse me to night. 120
With no one to bear it, but Thomas a Tyrwhitt,
This ribband belongs to an 'Order of Merit'! "

16.

He stopped at an Inn and stepped within
The Bar and read the "Times;"
And never such a treat, as--the epistle of one "Vetus,"[42]
Had he found save in downright crimes:
"Though I doubt if this drivelling encomiast of War
Ever saw a field fought, or felt a scar,
Yet his fame shall go farther than he can guess,
For I'll keep him a place in my _hottest Press_; 130
And his works shall be bound in Morocco _d'Enfer_,
And lettered behind with his _Nom de Guerre_. "

17.

The Devil gat next to Westminster,
And he turned to "the room" of the Commons;
But he heard as he purposed to enter in there,
That "the Lords" had received a summons;
And he thought, as "a _quondam_ Aristocrat,"
He might peep at the Peers, though to _hear_ them were flat;
And he walked up the House so like one of his own,
That they say that he stood pretty near the throne. 140

18.

He saw the Lord Liverpool seemingly wise,
The Lord Westmoreland certainly silly,
And Jockey of Norfolk--a man of some size--
And Chatham, so like his friend Billy;[43]
And he saw the tears in Lord Eldon's eyes,
Because the Catholics would _not_ rise,
In spite of his prayers and his prophecies;
And he heard--which set Satan himself a staring--
A certain Chief Justice say something like _swearing_. [44]
And the Devil was shocked--and quoth he, "I must go, 150
For I find we have much better manners below.
If thus he harangues when he passes my border,
I shall hint to friend Moloch to call him to order. "

19.

Then the Devil went down to the humbler House,
Where he readily found his way
As natural to him as its hole to a Mouse,
He had been there many a day;
And many a vote and soul and job he
Had bid for and carried away from the Lobby:
But there now was a "call" and accomplished debaters 160
Appeared in the glory of hats, boots and gaiters--
_Some_ paid rather more--but _all_ worse dressed
than Waiters!

20.