No More Learning

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There was an old person of Florence,
Who held mutton chops in abhorrence;
He purchased a Bustard, and fried him in Mustard,
Which choked that old person of Florence.

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There was an old person of Sheen,
Whose expression was calm and serene;
He sate in the water, and drank bottled porter,
That placid old person of Sheen.

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There was an old person of Ware,
Who rode on the back of a bear;
When they ask'd, "Does it trot? " he said, "Certainly not!
He's a Moppsikon Floppsikon bear! "

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There was a young person of Janina,
Whose uncle was always a fanning her;
When he fanned off her head, she smiled sweetly, and said,
"You propitious old person of Janina! "

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There was an old man of Cashmere,
Whose movements were scroobious and queer;
Being slender and tall, he looked over a wall,
And perceived two fat ducks of Cashmere.

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There was an old person of Cassel,
Whose nose finished off in a tassel;
But they call'd out, "Oh well! don't it look like a bell! "
Which perplexed that old person of Cassel.

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There was an old person of Pett,
Who was partly consumed by regret;
He sate in a cart, and ate cold apple tart,
Which relieved that old person of Pett.

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There was an old man of Spithead,
Who opened the window, and said,--
"Fil-jomble, fil-jumble, fil-rumble-come-tumble! "
That doubtful old man of Spithead.

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There was an old man on the Border,
Who lived in the utmost disorder;
He danced with the cat, and made tea in his hat,
Which vexed all the folks on the Border.

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There was an old man of Dumbree,
Who taught little owls to drink tea;
For he said, "To eat mice is not proper or nice,"
That amiable man of Dumbree.
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There was an old person of Filey,
Of whom his acquaintance spoke highly;
He danced perfectly well, to the sound of a bell,
And delighted the people of Filey.

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There was an old man whose remorse
Induced him to drink Caper Sauce;
For they said, "If mixed up with some cold claret-cup,
It will certainly soothe your remorse! "

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There was an old man of Ibreem,
Who suddenly threaten'd to scream;
But they said, "If you do, we will thump you quite blue,
You disgusting old man of Ibreem! "

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There was an old person of Wilts,
Who constantly walked upon stilts;
He wreathed them with lilies and daffy-down-dillies,
That elegant person of Wilts.

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There was an old person of Grange,
Whose manners were scroobious and strange;
He sailed to St. Blubb in a waterproof tub,
That aquatic old person of Grange.

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There was an old person of Newry,
Whose manners were tinctured with fury;
He tore all the rugs, and broke all the jugs,
Within twenty miles' distance of Newry.

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There was an old man of Dumblane,
Who greatly resembled a crane;
But they said, "Is it wrong, since your legs are so long,
To request you won't stay in Dumblane? "

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There was an old man of Port Grigor,
Whose actions were noted for vigour;
He stood on his head till his waistcoat turned red,
That eclectic old man of Port Grigor.

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There was an old man of El Hums,
Who lived upon nothing but crumbs,
Which he picked off the ground, with the other birds round,
In the roads and the lanes of El Hums.

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There was an old man of West Dumpet,
Who possessed a large nose like a trumpet;
When he blew it aloud, it astonished the crowd,
And was heard through the whole of West Dumpet.

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There was an old person of Sark,
Who made an unpleasant remark;
But they said, "Don't you see what a brute you must be,
You obnoxious old person of Sark! "

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There was an old man whose despair
Induced him to purchase a hare:
Whereon one fine day he rode wholly away,
Which partly assuaged his despair.

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There was an old person of Barnes,
Whose garments were covered with darns;
But they said, "Without doubt, you will soon wear them out,
You luminous person of Barnes! "

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There was an old person of Nice,
Whose associates were usually Geese.
They walked out together in all sorts of weather,
That affable person of Nice!