No More Learning

At least I am resolved to try my doctrine by the test of
experience. Another appearance from the press I put off to a very
distant day, a day that may never arrive--but poesy I am determined to
prosecute with all my vigour. Nature has given very few, if any, of
the profession, the talents of shining in every species of
composition. I shall try (for until trial it is impossible to know)
whether she has qualified me to shine in any one. The worst of it is,
by the time one has finished a piece, it has been so often viewed and
reviewed before the mental eye, that one loses, in a good measure, the
powers of critical discrimination. Here the best criterion I know is a
friend--not only of abilities to judge, but with good-nature enough,
like a prudent teacher with a young learner, to praise perhaps a
little more than is exactly just, lest the thin-skinned animal fall
into that most deplorable of all poetic diseases--heart-breaking
despondency of himself. Dare I, Sir, already immensely indebted to
your goodness, ask the additional obligation of your being that friend
to me? I enclose you an essay of mine in a walk of poesy to me
entirely new; I mean the epistle addressed to R. G. Esq. or Robert
Graham of Fintray, Esq. , a gentleman of uncommon worth, to whom I lie
under very great obligations. The story of the poem, like most of my
poems, is connected with my own story, and to give you the one, I must
give you something of the other. I cannot boast of Mr. Creech's
ingenuous fair dealing to me.
He kept me hanging about Edinburgh from
the 7th August, 1787, until the 13th April, 1788, before he would
condescend to give me a statement of affairs; nor had I got it even
then, but for an angry letter I wrote him, which irritated his pride.
"I could" not a "tale" but a detail "unfold," but what am I that
should speak against the Lord's anointed Bailie of Edinburgh?

I believe I shall in the whole, 100_l. _ copyright included, clear
about 400_l. _ some little odds; and even part of this depends upon
what the gentleman has yet to settle with me. I give you this
information, because you did me the honour to interest yourself much
in my welfare. I give you this information, but I give it to yourself
only, for I am still much in the gentleman's mercy. Perhaps I injure
the man in the idea I am sometimes tempted to have of him--God forbid
I should! A little time will try, for in a month I shall go to town to
wind up the business if possible.

To give the rest of my story in brief, I have married "my Jean," and
taken a farm: with the first step I have every day more and more
reason to be satisfied: with the last, it is rather the reverse. I
have a younger brother, who supports my aged mother; another still
younger brother, and three sisters, in a farm. On my last return from
Edinburgh, it cost me about 180l. to save them from ruin. Not that I
have lost so much. --I only interposed between my brother and his
impending fate by the loan of so much. I give myself no airs on this,
for it was mere selfishness on my part: I was conscious that the wrong
scale of the balance was pretty heavily charged, and I thought that
throwing a little filial piety and fraternal affection into the scale
in my favour, might help to smooth matters at the _grand reckoning.