No More Learning

[First published, _Morning Chronicle_, Oct. 12, 1812. ]



PARENTHETICAL ADDRESS. [44]

BY DR. PLAGIARY.

_Half stolen_, with acknowledgments, to be spoken in an
inarticulate voice by Master ---- at the opening of the next
new theatre. [Stolen parts marked with the inverted commas of
quotation--thus "----". ]

"When energising objects men pursue,"
Then Lord knows what is writ by Lord knows who.
A modest Monologue you here survey,
Hissed from the theatre the "other day,"
As if Sir Fretful wrote "the slumberous" verse,
And gave his son "the rubbish" to rehearse.
"Yet at the thing you'd never be amazed,"
Knew you the rumpus which the Author raised;
"Nor even here your smiles would be represt,"
Knew you these lines--the badness of the best, 10
"Flame! fire! and flame! " (words borrowed from Lucretius. [45])
"Dread metaphors" which open wounds like issues!
"And sleeping pangs awake--and----But away"--
(Confound me if I know what next to say).
Lo "Hope reviving re-expands her wings,"
And Master G---- recites what Dr. Busby sings! --
"If mighty things with small we may compare,"
(Translated from the Grammar for the fair! )
Dramatic "spirit drives a conquering car,"
And burn'd poor Moscow like a tub of "tar. " 20
"This spirit" "Wellington has shown in Spain,"
To furnish Melodrames for Drury Lane.
"Another Marlborough points to Blenheim's story,"
And George and I will dramatise it for ye.

"In Arts and Sciences our Isle hath shone"
(This deep discovery is mine alone).
Oh "British poesy, whose powers inspire"
My verse--or I'm a fool--and Fame's a liar,
"Thee we invoke, your Sister Arts implore"
With "smiles," and "lyres," and "pencils," and much more. 30
These, if we win the Graces, too, we gain
_Disgraces_, too! "inseparable train! "
"Three who have stolen their witching airs from Cupid"
(You all know what I mean, unless you're stupid):
"Harmonious throng" that I have kept _in petto_
Now to produce in a "divine _sestetto_"! !
"While Poesy," with these delightful doxies,
"Sustains her part" in all the "upper" boxes!
"Thus lifted gloriously, you'll sweep along,"
Borne in the vast balloon of Busby's song; 40
"Shine in your farce, masque, scenery, and play"
(For this last line George had a holiday).
"Old Drury never, never soar'd so high,"
So says the Manager, and so say I.
"But hold," you say, "this self-complacent boast;"
Is this the Poem which the public lost?