So I see now, 'tis a general
conspiracy
embracing all
Greece.
Greece.
Aristophanes
HERALD. Why, everything is turned upside down at Sparta; and all the
allies are half dead with lusting. We simply must have Pellene. [454]
MAGISTRATE. What is the reason of it all? Is it the god Pan's doing?
HERALD. No, but Lampito's and the Spartan women's, acting at her
instigation; they have denied the men all access to their cunts.
MAGISTRATE. But whatever do you do?
HERALD. We are at our wits' end; we walk bent double, just as if we were
carrying lanterns in a wind. The jades have sworn we shall not so much as
touch their cunts till we have all agreed to conclude peace.
MAGISTRATE. Ha, ha!
So I see now, 'tis a general conspiracy embracing all
Greece. Go you back to Sparta and bid them send Envoys with plenary
powers to treat for peace. I will urge our Senators myself to name
Plenipotentiaries from us; and to persuade them, why, I will show them
this. (_Pointing to his erect penis. _)
HERALD. What could be better? I fly at your command.
CHORUS OF OLD MEN. No wild beast is there, no flame of fire, more fierce
and untameable than woman; the panther is less savage and shameless.
CHORUS OF WOMEN. And yet you dare to make war upon me, wretch, when you
might have me for your most faithful friend and ally.
CHORUS OF OLD MEN. Never, never can my hatred cease towards women.
CHORUS OF WOMEN. Well, please yourself. Still I cannot bear to leave you
all naked as you are; folks would laugh at me.
