No More Learning

[Illustration]

The next thing that happened to them was in a narrow part of the sea, which
was so entirely full of fishes that the boat could go on no farther: so
they remained there about six weeks, till they had eaten nearly all the
fishes, which were soles, and all ready-cooked, and covered with
shrimp-sauce, so that there was no trouble whatever. And as the few fishes
who remained uneaten complained of the cold, as well as of the difficulty
they had in getting any sleep on account of the extreme noise made by the
arctic bears and the tropical turnspits, which frequented the neighborhood
in great numbers, Violet most amiably knitted a small woollen frock for
several of the fishes, and Slingsby administered some opium-drops to them;
through which kindness they became quite warm, and slept soundly.

[Illustration]

Then they came to a country which was wholly covered with immense
orange-trees of a vast size, and quite full of fruit. So they all landed,
taking with them the tea-kettle, intending to gather some of the oranges,
and place them in it. But, while they were busy about this, a most
dreadfully high wind rose, and blew out most of the parrot-tail feathers
from Violet's bonnet. That, however, was nothing compared with the calamity
of the oranges falling down on their heads by millions and millions, which
thumped and bumped and bumped and thumped them all so seriously, that they
were obliged to run as hard as they could for their lives; besides that the
sound of the oranges rattling on the tea-kettle was of the most fearful and
amazing nature.

[Illustration]

Nevertheless, they got safely to the boat, although considerably vexed and
hurt; and the Quangle-Wangle's right foot was so knocked about, that he had
to sit with his head in his slipper for at least a week.

[Illustration]

This event made them all for a time rather melancholy: and perhaps they
might never have become less so, had not Lionel, with a most praiseworthy
devotion and perseverance, continued to stand on one leg, and whistle to
them in a loud and lively manner; which diverted the whole party so
extremely that they gradually recovered their spirits, and agreed that
whenever they should reach home, they would subscribe towards a testimonial
to Lionel, entirely made of gingerbread and raspberries, as an earnest
token of their sincere and grateful infection.

[Illustration]

After sailing on calmly for several more days, they came to another
country, where they were much pleased and surprised to see a countless
multitude of white Mice with red eyes, all sitting in a great circle,
slowly eating custard-pudding with the most satisfactory and polite
demeanor.

[Illustration]

And as the four travellers were rather hungry, being tired of eating
nothing but soles and oranges for so long a period, they held a council as
to the propriety of asking the Mice for some of their pudding in a humble
and affecting manner, by which they could hardly be otherwise than
gratified. It was agreed, therefore, that Guy should go and ask the Mice,
which he immediately did; and the result was, that they gave a walnut-shell
only half full of custard diluted with water. Now, this displeased Guy, who
said, "Out of such a lot of pudding as you have got, I must say, you might
have spared a somewhat larger quantity. " But no sooner had he finished
speaking than the Mice turned round at once, and sneezed at him in an
appalling and vindictive manner (and it is impossible to imagine a more
scroobious and unpleasant sound than that caused by the simultaneous
sneezing of many millions of angry Mice); so that Guy rushed back to the
boat, having first shied his cap into the middle of the custard-pudding, by
which means he completely spoiled the Mice's dinner.

[Illustration]

By and by the four children came to a country where there were no houses,
but only an incredibly innumerable number of large bottles without corks,
and of a dazzling and sweetly susceptible blue color. Each of these blue
bottles contained a Blue-Bottle-Fly; and all these interesting animals live
continually together in the most copious and rural harmony: nor perhaps in
many parts of the world is such perfect and abject happiness to be found.
Violet and Slingsby and Guy and Lionel were greatly struck with this
singular and instructive settlement; and, having previously asked
permission of the Blue-Bottle-Flies (which was most courteously granted),
the boat was drawn up to the shore, and they proceeded to make tea in front
of the bottles: but as they had no tea-leaves, they merely placed some
pebbles in the hot water; and the Quangle-Wangle played some tunes over it
on an accordion, by which, of course, tea was made directly, and of the
very best quality.

The four children then entered into conversation with the
Blue-Bottle-Flies, who discoursed in a placid and genteel manner, though
with a slightly buzzing accent, chiefly owing to the fact that they each
held a small clothes-brush between their teeth, which naturally occasioned
a fizzy, extraneous utterance.

"Why," said Violet, "would you kindly inform us, do you reside in bottles;
and, if in bottles at all, why not, rather, in green or purple, or, indeed,
in yellow bottles? "

To which questions a very aged Blue-Bottle-Fly answered, "We found the
bottles here all ready to live in; that is to say, our great-great-great-
great-great-grandfathers did: so we occupied them at once. And, when the
winter comes on, we turn the bottles upside down, and consequently rarely
feel the cold at all; and you know very well that this could not be the
case with bottles of any other color than blue. "

"Of course it could not," said Slingsby. "But, if we may take the liberty
of inquiring, on what do you chiefly subsist? "

"Mainly on oyster-patties," said the Blue-Bottle-Fly; "and, when these are
scarce, on raspberry vinegar and Russian leather boiled down to a jelly. "

"How delicious! " said Guy.

To which Lionel added, "Huzz! " And all the Blue-Bottle-Flies said, "Buzz! "

At this time, an elderly Fly said it was the hour for the evening-song to
be sung; and, on a signal being given, all the Blue-Bottle-Flies began to
buzz at once in a sumptuous and sonorous manner, the melodious and
mucilaginous sounds echoing all over the waters, and resounding across the
tumultuous tops of the transitory titmice upon the intervening and verdant
mountains with a serene and sickly suavity only known to the truly
virtuous. The Moon was shining slobaciously from the star-bespangled sky,
while her light irrigated the smooth and shiny sides and wings and backs of
the Blue-Bottle-Flies with a peculiar and trivial splendor, while all
Nature cheerfully responded to the cerulean and conspicuous circumstances.

In many long-after years, the four little travellers looked back to that
evening as one of the happiest in all their lives; and it was already past
midnight when--the sail of the boat having been set up by the
Quangle-Wangle, the tea-kettle and churn placed in their respective
positions, and the Pussy-Cat stationed at the helm--the children each took
a last and affectionate farewell of the Blue-Bottle-Flies, who walked down
in a body to the water's edge to see the travellers embark.

[Illustration]

As a token of parting respect and esteem, Violet made a courtesy quite down
to the ground, and stuck one of her few remaining parrot-tail feathers into
the back hair of the most pleasing of the Blue-Bottle-Flies; while
Slingsby, Guy, and Lionel offered them three small boxes, containing,
respectively, black pins, dried figs, and Epsom salts; and thus they left
that happy shore forever.