That
sufferance
was my sinne; now I repent;
'Cause I did suffer I must suffer paine.
'Cause I did suffer I must suffer paine.
John Donne
_B_, _O'F_, _S96:_ _no title_, _A18_, _D_, _H49_, _N_, _TCC_,
_TCD_. _See note_]
[I. _1635-69_, _B_, _O'F_, _S96_, _W:_ _omitted_ _1633_,
_A18_, _D_, _H49_, _N_, _TCC_, _TCD_]
[4 yesterday; _Ed:_ yesterday, _1635-69_]
[7 feeble _1635-69:_ febled _B_, _O'F_, _S96_, _W_]
[12 my selfe I can _1635-69:_ I can myself _B_, _S96_, _W_
sustaine; _1669:_ sustaine, _1635-54_]
II.
As due by many titles I resigne
My selfe to thee, O God, first I was made
By thee, and for thee, and when I was decay'd
Thy blood bought that, the which before was thine;
I am thy sonne, made with thy selfe to shine, 5
Thy servant, whose paines thou hast still repaid,
Thy sheepe, thine Image, and, till I betray'd
My selfe, a temple of thy Spirit divine;
Why doth the devill then usurpe on mee?
Why doth he steale, nay ravish that's thy right? 10
Except thou rise and for thine owne worke fight,
Oh I shall soone despaire, when I doe see
That thou lov'st mankind well, yet wilt'not chuse me,
And Satan hates mee, yet is loth to lose mee.
[II. _1635-69_, _B_, _O'F_, _S96_, _W:_ I. _1633_, _A18_, _D_,
_H49_, _N_, _TCC_, _TCD_]
[2 God, first _1633:_ God. First _1635-69_]
[4 thine; _1650-69:_ thine, _1633-39:_ thine. _W_]
[7 and, _Ed:_ and _1633-69_]
[9 on _1633-69_, _D_, _H49:_ in _A18_, _B_, _N_, _S96_, _TC_,
_W_]
[10 steale,] steale _1633-39_
that's] what's _A18_, _TCC_]
[12 doe _1633 and most MSS. :_ shall _1635-69_, _O'F_, _S96_]
[13 me,] me. _1633_]
III.
O might those sighes and teares returne againe
Into my breast and eyes, which I have spent,
That I might in this holy discontent
Mourne with some fruit, as I have mourn'd in vaine;
In mine Idolatry what showres of raine 5
Mine eyes did waste? what griefs my heart did rent?
That sufferance was my sinne; now I repent;
'Cause I did suffer I must suffer paine.
Th'hydroptique drunkard, and night-scouting thiefe,
The itchy Lecher, and selfe tickling proud 10
Have the remembrance of past joyes, for reliefe
Of comming ills. To (poore) me is allow'd
No ease; for, long, yet vehement griefe hath beene
Th'effect and cause, the punishment and sinne.
[III. _1635-69_, _B_, _O'F_, _S96_, _W:_ _omitted_ _1633_,
_A18_, _D_, _&c. _]
[7 sinne; now I _Ed:_ sinne, now I _B_, _W:_ sinne I now
_1635-69_
repent; _Ed:_ repent, _1633-69_]
IV.
Oh my blacke Soule! now thou art summoned
By sicknesse, deaths herald, and champion;
Thou art like a pilgrim, which abroad hath done
Treason, and durst not turne to whence hee is fled,
Or like a thiefe, which till deaths doome be read, 5
Wisheth himselfe delivered from prison;
But damn'd and hal'd to execution,
Wisheth that still he might be imprisoned.
Yet grace, if thou repent, thou canst not lacke;
But who shall give thee that grace to beginne? 10
Oh make thy selfe with holy mourning blacke,
And red with blushing, as thou art with sinne;
Or wash thee in Christs blood, which hath this might
That being red, it dyes red soules to white.
[IV. _1635-69:_ II. _1633_, _A18_, _D_, _&c. :_ V. _B_, _O'F_,
_S96_, _W_]
[1 Soule! _1633:_ Soule _1635-69_]
[8 imprisoned.