No More Learning

Quare aut crudelem nasorum interfice pestem,
Aut admirari desine cur fugiunt. 10

LXVIIII.

TO RUFUS THE FETID.

Wonder not blatantly why no woman shall ever be willing
(Rufus! ) her tender thigh under thyself to bestow,
Not an thou tempt her full by bribes of the rarest garments,
Or by the dear delights gems the pellucidest deal.
Harms thee an ugly tale wherein of thee is recorded 5
Horrible stench of the goat under thine arm-pits be lodged.
All are in dread thereof; nor wonder this, for 'tis evil
Beastie, nor damsel fair ever thereto shall succumb.
So do thou either kill that cruel pest o' their noses,
Or at their reason of flight blatantly wondering cease. 10

Be unwilling to wonder wherefore no woman, O Rufus, is wishful to place her
tender thigh 'neath thee, not even if thou dost tempt her by the gift of a
rare robe or by the delights of a crystal-clear gem. A certain ill tale
injures thee, that thou bearest housed in the valley of thine armpits a
grim goat. Hence everyone's fear. Nor be marvel: for 'tis an exceeding ill
beast, with whom no fair girl will sleep. Wherefore, either murder that
cruel plague of their noses, or cease to marvel why they fly?

LXX.

Nulli se dicit mulier mea nubere malle
Quam mihi, non si se Iuppiter ipse petat.
Dicit: sed mulier cupido quod dicit amanti,
In vento et rapida scribere oportet aqua.

LXX.

ON WOMAN'S INCONSTANCY.

Never, my woman oft says, with any of men will she mate be,
Save wi' my own very self, ask her though Jupiter deign!
Says she: but womanly words that are spoken to desireful lover
Ought to be written on wind or upon water that runs.

No one, saith my lady, would she rather wed than myself, not even if
Jupiter's self crave her. Thus she saith! but what a woman tells an ardent
amourist ought fitly to be graven on the breezes and in running waters.

LXXI.

Siquoi iure bono sacer alarum obstitit hircus,
Aut siquem merito tarda podagra secat,
Aemulus iste tuos, qui vostrum exercet amorem,
Mirificost fato nactus utrumque malum,
Nam quotiens futuit, totiens ulciscitur ambos: 5
Illam adfligit odore, ipse perit podagra.

LXXI.

TO VERRO.

An of a goat-stink damned from armpits fusty one suffer,
Or if a crippling gout worthily any one rack,
'Tis that rival o' thine who lief in loves of you meddles,
And, by a wondrous fate, gains him the twain of such ills.
For that, oft as he ----, so oft that penance be two-fold; 5
Stifles her stench of goat, he too is kilt by his gout.

If ever anyone was deservedly cursed with an atrocious goat-stench from
armpits, or if limping gout did justly gnaw one, 'tis thy rival, who
occupies himself with your love, and who has stumbled by the marvel of fate
on both these ills. For as oft as he swives, so oft is he taken vengeance
on by both; she he prostrates by his stink, he is slain by his gout.