No More Learning

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There was an old person of Fife,
Who was greatly disgusted with life;
They sang him a ballad, and fed him on salad,
Which cured that old person of Fife.

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There was an old man who screamed out
Whenever they knocked him about:
So they took off his boots, and fed him with fruits,
And continued to knock him about.

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There was a young lady in white,
Who looked out at the depths of the night;
But the birds of the air, filled her heart with despair,
And oppressed that young lady in white.

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There was an old person of Slough,
Who danced at the end of a bough;
But they said, "If you sneeze, you might damage the trees,
You imprudent old person of Slough. "

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There was an old person of Down,
Whose face was adorned with a frown;
When he opened the door, for one minute or more,
He alarmed all the people of Down.

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There was a young person in red,
Who carefully covered her head,
With a bonnet of leather, and three lines of feather,
Besides some long ribands of red.

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There was an old person of Hove,
Who frequented the depths of a grove;
Where he studied his books, with the wrens and the rooks,
That tranquil old person of Hove.

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There was a young person in pink,
Who called out for something to drink;
But they said, "O my daughter, there's nothing but water! "
Which vexed that young person in pink.

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There was an old lady of France,
Who taught little ducklings to dance;
When she said, "Tick-a-tack! " they only said, "Quack! "
Which grieved that old lady of France.

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There was an old person of Putney,
Whose food was roast spiders and chutney,
Which he took with his tea, within sight of the sea,
That romantic old person of Putney.

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There was an old person of Loo,
Who said, "What on earth shall I do? "
When they said, "Go away!
" she continued to stay,
That vexatious old person of Loo.

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There was an old person of Woking,
Whose mind was perverse and provoking;
He sate on a rail, with his head in a pail,
That illusive old person of Woking.

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There was an old person of Dean
Who dined on one pea, and one bean;
For he said, "More than that, would make me too fat,"
That cautious old person of Dean.

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There was a young lady in blue,
Who said, "Is it you? Is it you? "
When they said, "Yes, it is," she replied only, "Whizz! "
That ungracious young lady in blue.

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There was an old Man in a Garden,
Who always begged every one's pardon;
When they asked him, "What for? " he replied, "You're a bore!
And I trust you'll go out of my garden. "

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There was an old person of Pisa,
Whose daughters did nothing to please her;
She dressed them in gray, and banged them all day,
Round the walls of the city of Pisa.

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There was an old person of Florence,
Who held mutton chops in abhorrence;
He purchased a Bustard, and fried him in Mustard,
Which choked that old person of Florence.

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There was an old person of Sheen,
Whose expression was calm and serene;
He sate in the water, and drank bottled porter,
That placid old person of Sheen.

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There was an old person of Ware,
Who rode on the back of a bear;
When they ask'd, "Does it trot? " he said, "Certainly not!
He's a Moppsikon Floppsikon bear!