No More Learning

Yet it is so declared (Quintus! ) by fable of folk;
Who, whenever they find things done no better than should be,
Come to me outcrying all:--"Door, the default is thine own! "

_Quintus_.

This be never enough for thee one-worded to utter, 15
But in such way to deal, each and all sense it and see.

_Door_.

What shall I do? None asks, while nobody troubles to know.

_Quintus_.

Willing are we? unto us stay not thy saying to say.

_Door_.

First let me note that the maid to us committed (assert they)
Was but a fraud: her mate never a touch of her had, 20
* * * *
* * * *
But that a father durst dishonour the bed of his firstborn,
Folk all swear, and the house hapless with incest bewray;
Or that his impious mind was blunt with fiery passion 25
Or that his impotent son sprang from incapable seed.
And to be sought was one with nerve more nervous endowed,
Who could better avail zone of the virgin to loose.

_Quintus_.

'Sooth, of egregious sire for piety wondrous, thou tellest,
Who in the heart of his son lief was ----!
30
Yet professed herself not only this to be knowing,
Brixia-town that lies under the Cycnean cliff,
Traversed by Mella-stream's soft-flowing yellow-hued current,
Brixia, Verona's mother, I love for my home.

_Door_.

Eke of Posthumius' loves and Cornelius too there be tattle, 35
With whom dared the dame evil advowtry commit.

_Quintus_.

Here might somebody ask:--"How, Door, hast mastered such matter?
Thou that canst never avail threshold of owner to quit,
Neither canst listen to folk since here fast fixt to the side-posts
Only one office thou hast, shutting or opening the house. " 40

_Door_.

Oft have I heard our dame in furtive murmurs o'er telling,
When with her handmaids alone, these her flagitious deeds,
Citing fore-cited names for that she never could fancy
Ever a Door was endow'd either with earlet or tongue.
Further she noted a wight whose name in public to mention 45
Nill I, lest he upraise eyebrows of carroty hue;
Long is the loon and large the law-suit brought they against him
Touching a child-bed false, claim of a belly that lied.

_Catullus_.

O dear in thought to the sweet husband, dear in thought to his sire, hail!
and may Jove augment his good grace to thee, Door! which of old, men say,
didst serve Balbus benignly, whilst the oldster held his home here; and
which contrariwise, so 'tis said, didst serve with grudging service after
the old man was stretched stark, thou doing service to the bride. Come,
tell us why thou art reported to be changed and to have renounced thine
ancient faithfulness to thy lord?

_Door_.

No, (so may I please Caecilius to whom I am now made over!