No More Learning

GERONTE: Yes. I have but one daughter; I should
feel inexpressible grief were she to die.

SGANARELLE: Don't let her do anything of the kind.
She must not die without a doctor's prescription.

GERONTE: You have made her laugh, monsieur.

SGANARELLE: It is the best symptom in the world
when the doctor makes his patient laugh. What sort
of pain do you feel?

LUCINDE (_replies by signs, putting her hand to her
mouth, to her head, and under her chin_): Ha, hi, ho, ha!

SGANARELLE (_imitating her_): Ha, hi, ho, ha! I don't
understand you.

GERONTE: That is what her complaint is, monsieur.
She became dumb, without our being able to find out the
cause. It is this accident which has made us put off the
marriage. The man she is going to marry wishes to wait
till she gets better.

SGANARELLE: Who is the fool that does not want his
wife to be dumb?
Would to heaven that mine had that
complaint! I would take good care she did not recover
her speech.

GERONTE: Well, monsieur, I beg of you to take all
possible pains to cure her of this illness.

SGANARELLE (_to the patient_): Let me feel your pulse.
This tells me your daughter is dumb.

GERONTE: Yes, monsieur, that is just what her illness
is; you have found it out the very first time.

SGANARELLE: We great doctors, we know things at once.
An ignorant person would have been puzzled, and would
have said to you: "It is this, it is that. " But I
was right the very first time. I tell you your daughter
is dumb.

GERONTE: But I should be very pleased if you could
tell me how this
happened.

SGANARELLE: It is because she has lost her speech.

GERONTE: But, please, what was the cause of the loss
of speech?

SGANARELLE: All our best authorities will tell you that
it is an impediment in the action of her tongue.

GERONTE: But, nevertheless, let us have your opinion on
this impediment in the action of her tongue.

SGANARELLE: I hold that this impediment in the
action of her tongue is caused by certain humours,
which among us learned men are called peccant humours.