No More Learning

HORACE: Deuce take me if I've strength to hang about so long, or know
any law. Besides, I'm hurrying, you know where.

BORE: I'm in a fix what to do--whether to give you up or my case.

HORACE: Me, please.

BORE: Shan't! (_Starts ahead of_ HORACE, _who, beaten at every point,
has to follow. The other opens conversation again_. ) On what footing do
you and Maecenas stand?

HORACE (_haughtily_): He has a select circle, and thoroughly sound
judgment.

BORE (_unimpressed_): Ah! No one ever made a smarter use of his
chances. You'd have a powerful supporter, a capable understudy, if
you'd agree to introduce your humble servant. Deuce take me if you
wouldn't clear everybody out of your way.

HORACE (_disgusted_): We don't live on the terms _you_ fancy. No
establishment is more honest than his, or more foreign to such
intrigues.
It does me no harm, I tell you, because this one has more
money or learning than I. Everybody has his own place.

BORE: A tall story--hardly believable.

HORACE: A fact, nevertheless.

BORE: You fire my anxiety all the more to be one of his intimate
friends.

HORACE (_sarcastically_): You've only got to wish. Such are _your_
qualities, you'll carry him by storm.

BORE (_on whom the irony is lost_): I'll not fail myself. I'll bribe
his slaves. If I find the door shut in my face I'll not give up. I'll
watch for lucky moments. I'll meet him at street corners. I'll see him
home. Life grants man nothing without hard work.

[_Enter_ FUSCUS, _a friend of_ HORACE. _Knowing the_
BORE'S _ways, he reads the situation_.