What evasions,
subterfuges
and delays!
Aristophanes
What an
irritable temper! You shout and throw stones, you will not hear my
arguments--not even when I propose to speak in favour of the
Lacedaemonians with my head on the block; and yet I cling to my life.
CHORUS. Well then, bring out a block before your door, scoundrel, and let
us hear the good grounds you can give us; I am curious to know them. Now
mind, as you proposed yourself, place your head on the block and speak.
DICAEOPOLIS. Here is the block; and, though I am but a very sorry
speaker, I wish nevertheless to talk freely of the Lacedaemonians and
without the protection of my buckler. Yet I have many reasons for fear. I
know our rustics; they are delighted if some braggart comes, and rightly
or wrongly loads both them and their city with praise and flattery; they
do not see that such toad-eaters[201] are traitors, who sell them for
gain. As for the old men, I know their weakness; they only seek to
overwhelm the accused with their votes. [202] Nor have I forgotten how
Cleon treated me because of my comedy last year;[203] he dragged me
before the Senate and there he uttered endless slanders against me; 'twas
a tempest of abuse, a deluge of lies. Through what a slough of mud he
dragged me! I nigh perished. Permit me, therefore, before I speak, to
dress in the manner most likely to draw pity.
CHORUS.
What evasions, subterfuges and delays! Hold! here is the sombre
helmet of Pluto with its thick bristling plume; Hieronymus[204] lends it
to you; then open Sisyphus'[205] bag of wiles; but hurry, hurry, pray,
for our discussion does not admit of delay.
DICAEOPOLIS. The time has come for me to manifest my courage, so I will
go and seek Euripides. Ho! slave, slave!
SLAVE. Who's there?
DICAEOPOLIS. Is Euripides at home?
SLAVE. He is and he isn't; understand that, if you have wit for't.
DICAEOPOLIS. How? He is and he isn't!
irritable temper! You shout and throw stones, you will not hear my
arguments--not even when I propose to speak in favour of the
Lacedaemonians with my head on the block; and yet I cling to my life.
CHORUS. Well then, bring out a block before your door, scoundrel, and let
us hear the good grounds you can give us; I am curious to know them. Now
mind, as you proposed yourself, place your head on the block and speak.
DICAEOPOLIS. Here is the block; and, though I am but a very sorry
speaker, I wish nevertheless to talk freely of the Lacedaemonians and
without the protection of my buckler. Yet I have many reasons for fear. I
know our rustics; they are delighted if some braggart comes, and rightly
or wrongly loads both them and their city with praise and flattery; they
do not see that such toad-eaters[201] are traitors, who sell them for
gain. As for the old men, I know their weakness; they only seek to
overwhelm the accused with their votes. [202] Nor have I forgotten how
Cleon treated me because of my comedy last year;[203] he dragged me
before the Senate and there he uttered endless slanders against me; 'twas
a tempest of abuse, a deluge of lies. Through what a slough of mud he
dragged me! I nigh perished. Permit me, therefore, before I speak, to
dress in the manner most likely to draw pity.
CHORUS.
What evasions, subterfuges and delays! Hold! here is the sombre
helmet of Pluto with its thick bristling plume; Hieronymus[204] lends it
to you; then open Sisyphus'[205] bag of wiles; but hurry, hurry, pray,
for our discussion does not admit of delay.
DICAEOPOLIS. The time has come for me to manifest my courage, so I will
go and seek Euripides. Ho! slave, slave!
SLAVE. Who's there?
DICAEOPOLIS. Is Euripides at home?
SLAVE. He is and he isn't; understand that, if you have wit for't.
DICAEOPOLIS. How? He is and he isn't!
