No More Learning

"

"To take advantage of-"

"Hiccup! "

"Your present disgusting and ungentlemanly situation. "

Here the visiter bowed and withdrew--in what manner could not precisely
be ascertained--but in a well-concerted effort to discharge a bottle
at "the villain," the slender chain was severed that depended from the
ceiling, and the metaphysician prostrated by the downfall of the lamp.




SOME WORDS WITH A MUMMY.

THE _symposium_ of the preceding evening had been a little too much
for my nerves. I had a wretched headache, and was desperately drowsy.
Instead of going out therefore to spend the evening as I had proposed,
it occurred to me that I could not do a wiser thing than just eat a
mouthful of supper and go immediately to bed.

A light supper of course. I am exceedingly fond of Welsh rabbit. More
than a pound at once, however, may not at all times be advisable. Still,
there can be no material objection to two. And really between two and
three, there is merely a single unit of difference. I ventured, perhaps,
upon four. My wife will have it five;--but, clearly, she has confounded
two very distinct affairs. The abstract number, five, I am willing to
admit; but, concretely, it has reference to bottles of Brown Stout,
without which, in the way of condiment, Welsh rabbit is to be eschewed.
Having thus concluded a frugal meal, and donned my night-cap, with the
serene hope of enjoying it till noon the next day, I placed my head upon
the pillow, and, through the aid of a capital conscience, fell into a
profound slumber forthwith.

But when were the hopes of humanity fulfilled? I could not have
completed my third snore when there came a furious ringing at the
street-door bell, and then an impatient thumping at the knocker, which
awakened me at once. In a minute afterward, and while I was still
rubbing my eyes, my wife thrust in my face a note, from my old friend,
Doctor Ponnonner. It ran thus:

"Come to me, by all means, my dear good friend, as soon as you
receive this. Come and help us to rejoice. At last, by long persevering
diplomacy, I have gained the assent of the Directors of the City Museum,
to my examination of the Mummy--you know the one I mean. I have
permission to unswathe it and open it, if desirable. A few friends only
will be present--you, of course. The Mummy is now at my house, and we
shall begin to unroll it at eleven to-night.

"Yours, ever,

PONNONNER.

By the time I had reached the "Ponnonner," it struck me that I was
as wide awake as a man need be. I leaped out of bed in an ecstacy,
overthrowing all in my way; dressed myself with a rapidity truly
marvellous; and set off, at the top of my speed, for the doctor's.

There I found a very eager company assembled. They had been awaiting me
with much impatience; the Mummy was extended upon the dining-table; and
the moment I entered its examination was commenced.

It was one of a pair brought, several years previously, by Captain
Arthur Sabretash, a cousin of Ponnonner's from a tomb near Eleithias, in
the Lybian mountains, a considerable distance above Thebes on the Nile.