No More Learning

There have been wayes found out to banish ministers,
to find not only the people, but even the grounds and
fields where they assembled, in conventicles ; but no



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Xliv NOTICE OF THE AUTHOR.

art yet could prevent these seditious meetings of let-
ters. Two or three brawny fellows in a corner, with
meer ink and elbow-jrrease, do more harm than a
hundred systematical divines, with their sweaty preach-
injr. And, what is a stranjre thinjr, the very spunks,
which one would think should rather deface and blot
out the whole book, and were anciently used for that
purpose, are become now the instalments to make
them legible. Their ugly printing letters look but
like so many rotten teeth; how oft have they been
pulled out by B. & L. the public tooth drawers ; and
yet these rascally operators of the press have got
a trick to fasten them again in a few minutes, that
they grow as firm a set, and as biting and talkative as
ever. O, printing ! how hast thou disturbed the
peace of mankind! — that lead, when moulded into
bullets, is not so mortal as when formed into letters !
There was a mistake, sure, in the story of Cadmus;
and the serpent's teeth which he sowed were nothing
else but the Icttera which he invented. The first essay
that was made towards this art, was in single charac-
ters upon iron, wherewith, of old, they stigmatized
slaves and remarkable offenders ; and it was of goo<l
use, sometimes, to brand a schismatic ; but a bulky
Dutchman diverted it quite from its first institution,
and contriving those innumerable si/ntagmes of alpha-
bets, hath pestered the world ever since, with the
gross bodies of their German divinity. One would
liave thought in reason, that a Dutchman might have
contented himself only with the wine-press. "

The following passage from ** Mr. Smirke, or
the Divine in Mode," would he enough to show



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NOTICE OF THE AUTHOR.
xlv

even without any acknowledgment on his own
part, that Swift studied and profited by the prose
of Marvell.

" And from hence it proceeds, that, to the no small
scandal and disreputation of our church, a great arca-
num of their state hath been discovered and divulged ;
that, albeit wit be not inconsistent and incompatible
with a clergyman, yet neither is it inseparable from
them. So that it is of concernment to my Lords the
Bishops henceforward to repress those of them who
have no wit from writing, and to take care that even
those that have, do husband it better, as not knowing
to what exigency they may be reduced; but how-
ever, that they the Bishops be not too forward in
licensing and prefixing their venerable names to such
pamphlets. For admitting, though J am not too posi-
tive in ity that our episcopacy is of apostolical right, yet
we do not find, among all those gifls t^iere given to
men, that Wit is enumerated ; nor yet among those
qualifications requisite to a Bishop. And therefore
should they, out of complacency for an author, or de-
light in the argument, or facility oi their judgments,
approve of a dull book, their own understandings will
be answerable, and irreverent people, that cannot dis-
tinguish, will be ready to think that such of them diifer
from men of wit, not only in degree, but in order.
For all are not of my mind, who could never see any
one elevated to that dignity, but I presently conceived
a greater opinion of his wit than ever I had fornierly.
But some do not stick to affirm, that even they, the
Bishops, come by theirs, not by inspiration, not by
teaching, but even as the poor laity do sometimes



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Xlvi NOTICE OF THE AUTHOR.

light upon it, — by a good mother. Which has occa*
sioned the homely Scotch proverb, that " an ounce of
mother wit is worth a pound of clergy. " And as they
come by it as do other men, so they possess it on
the same condition ; that they cannot transmit it by
breathing, touching, or any natural effluvium, to other
persons ; not so much as to their most domestick chap-
lains, or to the closest residentiary. That the King
himself, who is no less the spring of that, than he is the
fountain of honour, yet has never used the dubbing or
creating of wits as a flower of his prerogative ; much
less can the ecclesiastical power confcrrc it with the
same ease as they do the holy orders. That whatso-
ever they can do of that kind is, at uttermost, to im-
power men by their authority and commission, no
otherwise than in the licensing of midwives or physi-
cians. But that as to their collating of any internal
talent or ability, they could never pretend to it ; their
grants and their prohibitions are alike invalid, and
they can neither capacitate one man to be witty, nor
hinder another from being so, further than as they
press it at their devotion. Which, if it be the case,
they cannot be too exquisite, seeing this way of writing
is found so necessary, in making choice of fit instru-
ments. The Church's credit is more interested in an
ecclesiastical droll, than in a lay chancellor. It is no
small trust that is reposed in him to whom the Bishop
sliall commit omne et omni modo suimi ingeniumy tarn
temporale quam, spirUuale ; and, however it goes with
excommunication, they should take good heed to what
manner of person they delegate the keys of laughter.