No More Learning

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There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who sat on a Horse when he reared;
But they said, "Never mind! you will fall off behind,
You propitious Old Man with a beard! "

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There was an Old Man of Berlin,
Whose form was uncommonly thin;
Till he once, by mistake, was mixed up in a cake,
So they baked that Old Man of Berlin.

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There was an Old Man of the West,
Who never could get any rest;
So they set him to spin on his nose and his chin,
Which cured that Old Man of the West.

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There was an Old Person of Cheadle
Was put in the stocks by the Beadle
For stealing some pigs, some coats, and some wigs,
That horrible person of Cheadle.

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There was an Old Person of Anerley,
Whose conduct was strange and unmannerly;
He rushed down the Strand with a Pig in each hand,
But returned in the evening to Anerley.

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There was a Young Lady of Wales,
Who caught a large Fish without scales;
When she lifted her hook, she exclaimed, "Only look! "
That ecstatic Young Lady of Wales.

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There was a Young Lady of Welling,
Whose praise all the world was a-telling;
She played on the harp, and caught several Carp,
That accomplished Young Lady of Welling.

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There was an Old Person of Tartary,
Who divided his jugular artery;
But he screeched to his Wife, and she said, "Oh, my life!
Your death will be felt by all Tartary! "

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There was an Old Man of Whitehaven,
Who danced a quadrille with a Raven;
But they said, "It's absurd to encourage this bird! "
So they smashed that Old Man of Whitehaven.

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There was a Young Lady of Sweden,
Who went by the slow train to Weedon;
When they cried, "Weedon Station! " she made no observation,
But thought she should go back to Sweden.
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There was an Old Person of Chester,
Whom several small children did pester;
They threw some large stones, which broke most of his bones,
And displeased that Old Person of Chester.

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There was an Old Man of the Cape,
Who possessed a large Barbary Ape;
Till the Ape, one dark night, set the house all alight,
Which burned that Old Man of the Cape.

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There was an Old Person of Burton,
Whose answers were rather uncertain;
When they said, "How d' ye do? " he replied, "Who are you? "
That distressing Old Person of Burton.

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There was an Old Person of Ems
Who casually fell in the Thames;
And when he was found, they said he was drowned,
That unlucky Old Person of Ems.

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There was a Young Girl of Majorca,
Whose Aunt was a very fast walker;
She walked seventy miles, and leaped fifteen stiles,
Which astonished that Girl of Majorca.

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There was a Young Lady of Poole,
Whose soup was excessively cool;
So she put it to boil by the aid of some oil,
That ingenious Young Lady of Poole.

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There was an Old Lady of Prague,
Whose language was horribly vague;
When they said, "Are these caps? " she answered, "Perhaps! "
That oracular Lady of Prague.

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There was a Young Lady of Parma,
Whose conduct grew calmer and calmer:
When they said, "Are you dumb? " she merely said, "Hum! "
That provoking Young Lady of Parma.

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There was an Old Person of Sparta,
Who had twenty-five sons and one "darter;"
He fed them on Snails, and weighed them in scales,
That wonderful Person of Sparta.

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There was an Old Man on whose nose
Most birds of the air could repose;
But they all flew away at the closing of day,
Which relieved that Old Man and his nose.