No More Learning

but the blows would rain upon me harder than ever.

PHIDIPPIDES. Undoubtedly, and rightly too.

STREPSIADES. Rightly! oh! what impudence! to me, who brought you up! when
you could hardly lisp, I guessed what you wanted. If you said _broo,
broo_, well, I brought you your milk; if you asked for _mam mam_, I gave
you bread; and you had no sooner said, _caca_, than I took you outside
and held you out. And just now, when you were strangling me, I shouted, I
bellowed that I would let all go; and you, you scoundrel, had not the
heart to take me outside, so that here, though almost choking, I was
compelled to ease myself.

CHORUS. Young men, your hearts must be panting with impatience. What is
Phidippides going to say? If, after such conduct, he proves he has done
well, I would not give an obolus for the hide of old men.
Come, you, who
know how to brandish and hurl the keen shafts of the new science, find a
way to convince us, give your language an appearance of truth.

PHIDIPPIDES. How pleasant it is to know these clever new inventions and
to be able to defy the established laws! When I thought only about
horses, I was not able to string three words together without a mistake,
but now that the master has altered and improved me and that I live in
this world of subtle thought, of reasoning and of meditation, I count on
being able to prove satisfactorily that I have done well to thrash my
father.

STREPSIADES. Mount your horse! By Zeus! I would rather defray the keep of
a four-in-hand team than be battered with blows.

PHIDIPPIDES. I revert to what I was saying when you interrupted me. And
first, answer me, did you beat me in my childhood?

STREPSIADES. Why, assuredly, for your good and in your own best interest.

PHIDIPPIDES. Tell me, is it not right, that in turn I should beat you for
your good? since it is for a man's own best interest to be beaten.