No More Learning

There stands the Inspector at thy door:
Like a dog, he hunts for boys who know not two and two are four. "

"Kind words are more than coronets,"
She said, and wondering looked at me:
"It is the dead unhappy night, and I must hurry home to tea. "




A SEA DIRGE


[Picture: The sea, beach and children]

THERE are certain things--as, a spider, a ghost,
The income-tax, gout, an umbrella for three--
That I hate, but the thing that I hate the most
Is a thing they call the Sea.

Pour some salt water over the floor--
Ugly I'm sure you'll allow it to be:
Suppose it extended a mile or more,
_That's_ very like the Sea.

Beat a dog till it howls outright--
Cruel, but all very well for a spree:
Suppose that he did so day and night,
_That_ would be like the Sea.

I had a vision of nursery-maids;
Tens of thousands passed by me--
All leading children with wooden spades,
And this was by the Sea.

Who invented those spades of wood?
Who was it cut them out of the tree?
None, I think, but an idiot could--
Or one that loved the Sea.

It is pleasant and dreamy, no doubt, to float
With 'thoughts as boundless, and souls as free':
But, suppose you are very unwell in the boat,
How do you like the Sea?

[Picture: And this was by the sea]

There is an insect that people avoid
(Whence is derived the verb 'to flee').
Where have you been by it most annoyed?
In lodgings by the Sea.

If you like your coffee with sand for dregs,
A decided hint of salt in your tea,
And a fishy taste in the very eggs--
By all means choose the Sea.

And if, with these dainties to drink and eat,
You prefer not a vestige of grass or tree,
And a chronic state of wet in your feet,
Then--I recommend the Sea.
For _I_ have friends who dwell by the coast--
Pleasant friends they are to me!
It is when I am with them I wonder most
That anyone likes the Sea.

They take me a walk: though tired and stiff,
To climb the heights I madly agree;
And, after a tumble or so from the cliff,
They kindly suggest the Sea.

I try the rocks, and I think it cool
That they laugh with such an excess of glee,
As I heavily slip into every pool
That skirts the cold cold Sea.

[Picture: As I heavily slip into every pool]




Ye Carpette Knyghte


I have a horse--a ryghte good horse--
Ne doe Y envye those
Who scoure ye playne yn headye course
Tyll soddayne on theyre nose
They lyghte wyth unexpected force
Yt ys--a horse of clothes.

I have a saddel--"Say'st thou soe?
Wyth styrruppes, Knyghte, to boote? "
I sayde not that--I answere "Noe"--
Yt lacketh such, I woote:
Yt ys a mutton-saddel, loe!
Parte of ye fleecye brute.

I have a bytte--a ryghte good bytte--
As shall bee seene yn tyme.
Ye jawe of horse yt wyll not fytte;
Yts use ys more sublyme.
Fayre Syr, how deemest thou of yt?
Yt ys--thys bytte of rhyme.

[Picture: I have a horse]




HIAWATHA'S PHOTOGRAPHING


[In an age of imitation, I can claim no special merit for this slight
attempt at doing what is known to be so easy. Any fairly practised
writer, with the slightest ear for rhythm, could compose, for hours
together, in the easy running metre of 'The Song of Hiawatha. ' Having,
then, distinctly stated that I challenge no attention in the following
little poem to its merely verbal jingle, I must beg the candid reader to
confine his criticism to its treatment of the subject.