Lead hither the
Laconian
Envoys.
Aristophanes
Well said; we are of the same mind.
Better call Lysistrata
then; she is the only person will bring us to terms.
LACONIAN. Yes, yes--and Lysistratus into the bargain, if you will.
CHORUS OF OLD MEN. Needless to call her; she has heard your voices, and
here she comes.
ATHENIAN. Hail, boldest and bravest of womankind! The time is come to
show yourself in turn uncompromising and conciliatory, exacting and
yielding, haughty and condescending. Call up all your skill and
artfulness. Lo! the foremost men in Hellas, seduced by your fascinations,
are agreed to entrust you with the task of ending their quarrels.
LYSISTRATA. 'Twill be an easy task--if only they refrain from mutual
indulgence in masculine love; if they do, I shall know the fact at once.
Now, where is the gentle goddess Peace?
Lead hither the Laconian Envoys.
But, look you, no roughness or violence; our husbands always behaved so
boorishly. [462] Bring them to me with smiles, as women should. If any
refuse to give you his hand, then catch him by the penis and draw him
politely forward. Bring up the Athenians too; you may take them just how
you will. Laconians, approach; and you, Athenians, on my other side. Now
hearken all! I am but a woman; but I have good common sense; Nature has
dowered me with discriminating judgment, which I have yet further
developed, thanks to the wise teachings of my father and the elders of
the city. First I must bring a reproach against you that applies equally
to both sides. At Olympia, and Thermopylae, and Delphi, and a score of
other places too numerous to mention, you celebrate before the same
altars ceremonies common to all Hellenes; yet you go cutting each other's
throats, and sacking Hellenic cities, when all the while the Barbarian is
yonder threatening you! That is my first point.
ATHENIAN. Ah, ah! concupiscence is killing me!
LYSISTRATA. Now 'tis to you I address myself, Laconians.
then; she is the only person will bring us to terms.
LACONIAN. Yes, yes--and Lysistratus into the bargain, if you will.
CHORUS OF OLD MEN. Needless to call her; she has heard your voices, and
here she comes.
ATHENIAN. Hail, boldest and bravest of womankind! The time is come to
show yourself in turn uncompromising and conciliatory, exacting and
yielding, haughty and condescending. Call up all your skill and
artfulness. Lo! the foremost men in Hellas, seduced by your fascinations,
are agreed to entrust you with the task of ending their quarrels.
LYSISTRATA. 'Twill be an easy task--if only they refrain from mutual
indulgence in masculine love; if they do, I shall know the fact at once.
Now, where is the gentle goddess Peace?
Lead hither the Laconian Envoys.
But, look you, no roughness or violence; our husbands always behaved so
boorishly. [462] Bring them to me with smiles, as women should. If any
refuse to give you his hand, then catch him by the penis and draw him
politely forward. Bring up the Athenians too; you may take them just how
you will. Laconians, approach; and you, Athenians, on my other side. Now
hearken all! I am but a woman; but I have good common sense; Nature has
dowered me with discriminating judgment, which I have yet further
developed, thanks to the wise teachings of my father and the elders of
the city. First I must bring a reproach against you that applies equally
to both sides. At Olympia, and Thermopylae, and Delphi, and a score of
other places too numerous to mention, you celebrate before the same
altars ceremonies common to all Hellenes; yet you go cutting each other's
throats, and sacking Hellenic cities, when all the while the Barbarian is
yonder threatening you! That is my first point.
ATHENIAN. Ah, ah! concupiscence is killing me!
LYSISTRATA. Now 'tis to you I address myself, Laconians.
