No More Learning

Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave, or a GROTT,
The Akond of Swat?

Does he drink small beer from a silver jug?
Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug? or a POT,
The Akond of Swat?

Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe,
When she lets the gooseberries grow too ripe, or ROT,
The Akond of Swat?

Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends,
And tie it neat in a bow with ends, or a KNOT,
The Akond of Swat?

Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies?
When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes, or NOT,
The Akond of Swat?

Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake?
Does he sail about on an inland lake, in a YACHT,
The Akond of Swat?

Some one, or nobody, knows I wot
Who or which or why or what
Is the Akond of Swat!


NOTE.
--For the existence of this potentate see Indian newspapers, _passim_.
The proper way to read the verses is to make an immense emphasis on the
monosyllabic rhymes, which indeed ought to be shouted out by a chorus.

* * * * *




NONSENSE BOTANY.


[Illustration: Armchairia Comfortabilis. ]

[Illustration: Bassia Palealensis. ]

[Illustration: Bubblia Blowpipia. ]

[Illustration: Bluebottlia Buzztilentia. ]

[Illustration: Crabbia Horrida. ]

[Illustration: Smalltoothcombia Domestica. ]

[Illustration: Knutmigrata Simplice. ]

[Illustration: Tureenia Ladlecum. ]

[Illustration: Puffia Leatherbellowsa. ]

[Illustration: Queeriflora Babyoides. ]

* * * * *




NONSENSE ALPHABETS.


A

[Illustration]

A was an Area Arch
Where washerwomen sat;
They made a lot of lovely starch
To starch Papa's Cravat.


B

[Illustration]

B was a Bottle blue,
Which was not very small;
Papa he filled it full of beer,
And then he drank it all.