No More Learning

A shape (from whence I ne'er divined)
Appeared before me, pacing to and fro,
With head far down inclined.

`A wraith' (I thought) `that walks the shore
To solve some old perplexity. '
Full heavy hung the draggled gown he wore;
His hair flew all awry.

He waited not (as ghosts oft use)
To be `dearheaven'd! ' and `oh'd! '
But briskly said: "Good-evenin'; what's the news?
Consumption? After boa'd?

"Or mebbe you're intendin' of
Investments? Orange-plantin'? Pine?
Hotel? or Sanitarium? What above
This yea'th CAN be your line?

"Speakin' of sanitariums, now,
Jest look 'ee here, my friend:
I know a little story, -- well, I swow,
Wait till you hear the end!
"Some year or more ago, I s'pose,
I roamed from Maine to Floridy,
And, -- see where them Palmettos grows?
I bought that little key,

"Cal'latin' for to build right off
A c'lossal sanitarium:
Big surf! Gulf breeze! Jest death upon a cough!
-- I run it high, to hum!

"Well, sir, I went to work in style:
Bought me a steamboat, loaded it
With my hotel (pyazers more'n a mile! )
Already framed and fit,

"Insured 'em, fetched 'em safe around,
Put up my buildin', moored my boat,
COM-plete! then went to bed and slept as sound
As if I'd paid a note.

"Now on that very night a squall,
Cum up from some'eres -- some bad place!
An' blowed an' tore an' reared an' pitched an' all,
-- I had to run a race

"Right out o' bed from that hotel
An' git to yonder risin' ground,
For, 'twixt the sea that riz and rain that fell,
I pooty nigh was drowned!

"An' thar I stood till mornin' cum,
Right on yon little knoll of sand,
FreQUENTly wishin' I had stayed to hum
Fur from this tarnal land.

"When mornin' cum, I took a good
Long look, and -- well, sir, sure's I'm ME --
That boat laid right whar that hotel had stood,
And HIT sailed out to sea!

"No: I'll not keep you: good-bye, friend.
Don't think about it much, -- preehaps
Your brain might git see-sawin', end for end,
Like them asylum chaps,

"For here *I* walk, forevermore,
A-tryin' to make it gee,
How one same wind could blow my ship to shore
And my hotel to sea! "

____
Chadd's Ford, Pennsylvania, 1877.




Uncle Jim's Baptist Revival Hymn.