Again, in the 'Lotos Eaters'
_Three thunder-cloven thrones of oldest snow_
Stood sunset-flushed
is changed into
_Three silent pinnacles of aged snow_.
_Three thunder-cloven thrones of oldest snow_
Stood sunset-flushed
is changed into
_Three silent pinnacles of aged snow_.
Tennyson
Or, in 'Mariana in the South':--
She mov'd her lips, she pray'd alone,
She praying, disarray'd and warm
From slumber, deep her wavy form
In the dark lustrous mirror shone,
into
Complaining, "Mother, give me grace
To help me of my weary load".
And on the liquid mirror glow'd
The clear perfection of her face.
How happy is this slight alteration in the verses 'To J. S. ' which
corrects one of the falsest notes ever struck by a poet:--
A tear Dropt on _my tablets_ as I wrote.
A tear Dropt on _the letters_ as I wrote.
or where in 'Locksley Hall' a splendidly graphic touch of description is
gained by the alteration of "_droops_ the trailer from the crag" into
"_swings_ the trailer".
So again in 'Love and Duty':--
Should my shadow cross thy thoughts
Too sadly for their peace, _so put it back_.
For calmer hours in memory's darkest hold,
where by altering "so put it back" into "remand it thou," a somewhat
ludicrous image is at all events softened.
What great care Tennyson took with his phraseology is curiously
illustrated in 'The May Queen'. In the 1842 edition "Robin" was the name
of the May Queen's lover. In 1843 it was altered to "Robert," and in
1845 and subsequent editions back to "Robin".
Compare, again, the old stanza in 'The Miller's Daughter':--
How dear to me in youth, my love,
Was everything about the mill;
The black and silent pool above,
The pool beneath it never still,
with what was afterwards substituted:--
I loved the brimming wave that swam
Through quiet meadows round the mill,
The sleepy pool above the dam,
The pool beneath it never still.
Another most felicitous emendation is to be found in 'The Poet',
where the edition of 1830 reads:--
And in the bordure of her robe was writ
Wisdom, a name to shake
Hoar anarchies, as with a thunderfit.
This in 1842 appears as:--
And in her raiment's hem was trac'd in flame
Wisdom, a name to shake
All evil dreams of power--a sacred name.
Again, in the 'Lotos Eaters'
_Three thunder-cloven thrones of oldest snow_
Stood sunset-flushed
is changed into
_Three silent pinnacles of aged snow_.
So in 'Will Waterproof' the cumbrous
Like Hezekiah's backward runs The shadow of my days,
was afterwards simplified into
Against its fountain upward runs
The current of my days.
Not less felicitous have been the additions made from time to time. Thus
in 'Audley Court' the concluding lines ran:--
The harbour buoy,
With one green sparkle ever and anon
Dipt by itself.
But what vividness is there in the subsequent insertion of
"Sole star of phosphorescence in the calm. "
between the first line and the second.
So again in the 'Morte d'Arthur' how greatly are imagery and rhythm
improved by the insertion of
Across the ridge, and paced beside the mere,
between
Then went Sir Bedivere the second time,
and
Counting the dewy pebbles, fix'd in thought.
There is an alteration in ? none which is very interesting. Till 1884
this was allowed to stand:--
The lizard, with his shadow on the stone,
Rests like a shadow, _and the cicala sleeps_.
No one could have known better than Tennyson that the cicala is loudest
in the torrid calm of the noonday, as Theocritus, Virgil, Byron and
innumerable other poets have noticed; at last he altered it, but at the
heavy price of a cumbrous pleonasm, into "and the winds are dead".
He allowed many years to elapse before he corrected another error in
natural history--but at last the alteration came. In 'The Poet's Song'
in the line--
The swallow stopt as he hunted the _bee_,
the "fly" which the swallow does hunt was substituted for what it does
not hunt, and that for very obvious reasons. But whoever would see what
Tennyson's poetry has owed to elaborate revision and scrupulous care
would do well to compare the first edition of 'Mariana in the South',
'The Sea-Fairies', 'OEnone', 'The Lady of Shalott', 'The Palace of Art'
and 'A Dream of Fair Women' with the poems as they are presented in
1853. Poets do not always improve their verses by revision, as all
students of Wordsworth's text could abundantly illustrate; but it may be
doubted whether, in these poems at least, Tennyson ever made a single
alteration which was not for the better. Fitzgerald, indeed, contended
that in some cases, particularly in 'The Miller's Daughter', Tennyson
would have done well to let the first reading stand, but few critics
would agree with him in the instances he gives.