No More Learning

Kissing and bussing differ both in this;
We buss our wantons, but our wives we kiss.


520. UPON MAGGOT, A FREQUENTER OF ORDINARIES.

Maggot frequents those houses of good-cheer,
Talks most, eats most, of all the feeders there.
He raves through lean, he rages through the fat,
(What gets the master of the meal by that? )
He who with talking can devour so much,
How would he eat, were not his hindrance such?


533. ON JOAN.

Joan would go tell her hairs; and well she might,
Having but seven in all: three black, four white.


534. UPON LETCHER. EPIG.

Letcher was carted first about the streets,
For false position in his neighbour's sheets:
Next, hanged for thieving: now the people say,
His carting was the prologue to this play.


535. UPON DUNDRIGE.
Dundrige his issue hath; but is not styl'd,
For all his issue, father of one child.


553. WAY IN A CROWD.

Once on a Lord Mayor's Day, in Cheapside, when
Skulls could not well pass through that scum of men,
For quick despatch Skulls made no longer stay
Than but to breathe, and everyone gave way;
For, as he breathed, the people swore from thence
A fart flew out, or a sir-reverence.

_Sir-reverence_, "save-reverence," the word of apology used for the
indecency itself.


557. UPON ONE-EY'D BROOMSTED. EPIG.

Broomsted a lameness got by cold and beer:
And to the bath went, to be cured there:
His feet were helped, and left his crutch behind;
But home returned, as he went forth, half blind.


563. UPON SIBILLA.

With paste of almonds, Syb her hands doth scour;
Then gives it to the children to devour.
In cream she bathes her thighs, more soft than silk;
Then to the poor she freely gives the milk.


570. UPON TOOLY.

The eggs of pheasants wry-nosed Tooly sells,
But ne'er so much as licks the speckled shells:
Only, if one prove addled, that he eats
With superstition, as the cream of meats.