No More Learning

What do I think of
Epicurus! Do you mean me, sir? --I am Epicurus! I am the same philosopher
who wrote each of the three hundred treatises commemorated by Diogenes
Laertes. "

"That's a lie! " said the metaphysician, for the wine had gotten a little
into his head.

"Very well! --very well, sir! --very well, indeed, sir! " said his Majesty,
apparently much flattered.

"That's a lie! " repeated the restaurateur, dogmatically; "that's
a--hiccup! --a lie! "

"Well, well, have it your own way! " said the devil, pacifically, and
Bon-Bon, having beaten his Majesty at argument, thought it his duty to
conclude a second bottle of Chambertin.
"As I was saying," resumed the visiter--"as I was observing a little
while ago, there are some very outre notions in that book of yours
Monsieur Bon-Bon. What, for instance, do you mean by all that humbug
about the soul? Pray, sir, what is the soul? "

"The--hiccup! --soul," replied the metaphysician, referring to his MS. ,
"is undoubtedly-"

"No, sir! "

"Indubitably-"

"No, sir! "

"Indisputably-"

"No, sir! "

"Evidently-"

"No, sir! "

"Incontrovertibly-"

"No, sir! "

"Hiccup! --"

"No, sir! "

"And beyond all question, a-"

"No sir, the soul is no such thing! " (Here the philosopher, looking
daggers, took occasion to make an end, upon the spot, of his third
bottle of Chambertin. )

"Then--hic-cup! --pray, sir--what--what is it?