No More Learning

Quirites, permit me the joy, and may this, of all pleasures on earth the

First and the last, be vouchsafed all of mankind by the god.




XXII

Ah, to uphold one's respectable name is not easy. The Lady

Fame has an ancient foe: Cupid, my master and lord.

Oh, by the way, have you heard of the cause of their mutual hatred?

It's an old story, I think--Let me just tell it again.

Powerful ever the goddess, but nevertheless to her fellows

Overbearing and rude, quite unendurable. She

Had by the gods since time out of mind at their banquets been dreaded,

Yelling with brassiest voice orders to great and to small.

Once, in her arrogance even maintained that she had subjected

To her own will, as her slave, Jove's most illustrious son.

"One of these days, O father of deities," cried she in triumph,

"I shall be bringing you my--Hercules, as if new born.

Don't think that Hercules be still that boy whom Alcmene once bore you;

His adulation of me makes him now god upon earth.

When toward Olympus he gazes, I've no doubt you hope that he's looking

Piously toward your knees. Hardly. He's looking for me.

Worthiest man! O the vision of winning my favor makes easy

Hitherto unexplored paths, under that powerful foot.
I do my part, for I meet him halfway and proclaim his adventures

Praising his name in advance, even before he's begun.

One day you'll wed me to Hercules. Hero who Amazons conquered

That day will overwhelm me. Happily I'll call him: spouse. "

All of the gods kept their counsel, and none would reply to the braggart,

Lest in a pique she devise vengeance against one of them.

Cupid, escaping attention, slipped off to enslave, however, her hero:

Artlessly conquering by--force of a beautiful girl,

Afterward decked out his couple in mute masquerade: lionskin

Over her shoulders, the club leaned (by much toil) at her side;

Wiry stiff hair of the hero larded with blossoms, a distaff

Laid in his fist, to conform strength to the dalliance of love.

Scene now completed and ready to tease, he goes scampering, shouting

For all Olympus to hear: "Come, see these glorious deeds!

Heaven and Earth and the Sun on his indefatigable journey

Over that infinite path never did witness the like! "

Everyone hastened, gulled by the dissolute boy, who feigning

Earnest, had summoned them all (Fame by no means lagged behind).

Which of the gods will now smile in sweet condescension on Cupid?

--Juno! delighted, of course, seeing a man humbled so.

Fame, on the other hand, stood there ashamed, embarrassed, despairing.

First she just laughed, saying: "Gods, be not deceived. It's a masque.

I know my hero too well to be fooled by disguises of actors.