No More Learning

I had no mortal fears;
Methought I felt her lips and breath approve,--
It was a human thing which to my bosom clove. _3000

20.
'I watched the dawn of her first smiles; and soon
When zenith stars were trembling on the wave,
Or when the beams of the invisible moon,
Or sun, from many a prism within the cave
Their gem-born shadows to the water gave, _3005
Her looks would hunt them, and with outspread hand,
From the swift lights which might that fountain pave,
She would mark one, and laugh, when that command
Slighting, it lingered there, and could not understand.

21.
'Methought her looks began to talk with me; _3010
And no articulate sounds, but something sweet
Her lips would frame,--so sweet it could not be,
That it was meaningless; her touch would meet
Mine, and our pulses calmly flow and beat
In response while we slept; and on a day _3015
When I was happiest in that strange retreat,
With heaps of golden shells we two did play,--
Both infants, weaving wings for time's perpetual way.

22.
'Ere night, methought, her waning eyes were grown
Weary with joy, and tired with our delight, _3020
We, on the earth, like sister twins lay down
On one fair mother's bosom:--from that night
She fled,--like those illusions clear and bright,
Which dwell in lakes, when the red moon on high
Pause ere it wakens tempest;--and her flight, _3025
Though 'twas the death of brainless fantasy,
Yet smote my lonesome heart more than all misery.

23.
'It seemed that in the dreary night the diver
Who brought me thither, came again, and bore
My child away. I saw the waters quiver, _3030
When he so swiftly sunk, as once before:
Then morning came--it shone even as of yore,
But I was changed--the very life was gone
Out of my heart--I wasted more and more,
Day after day, and sitting there alone, _3035
Vexed the inconstant waves with my perpetual moan.

24.
'I was no longer mad, and yet methought
My breasts were swoln and changed:--in every vein
The blood stood still one moment, while that thought
Was passing--with a gush of sickening pain _3040
It ebbed even to its withered springs again:
When my wan eyes in stern resolve I turned
From that most strange delusion, which would fain
Have waked the dream for which my spirit yearned
With more than human love,--then left it unreturned. _3045

25.
'So now my reason was restored to me
I struggled with that dream, which, like a beast
Most fierce and beauteous, in my memory
Had made its lair, and on my heart did feast;
But all that cave and all its shapes, possessed _3050
By thoughts which could not fade, renewed each one
Some smile, some look, some gesture which had blessed
Me heretofore: I, sitting there alone,
Vexed the inconstant waves with my perpetual moan.

26.
'Time passed, I know not whether months or years; _3055
For day, nor night, nor change of seasons made
Its note, but thoughts and unavailing tears:
And I became at last even as a shade,
A smoke, a cloud on which the winds have preyed,
Till it be thin as air; until, one even, _3060
A Nautilus upon the fountain played,
Spreading his azure sail where breath of Heaven
Descended not, among the waves and whirlpools driven.

27.
'And, when the Eagle came, that lovely thing,
Oaring with rosy feet its silver boat, _3065
Fled near me as for shelter; on slow wing,
The Eagle, hovering o'er his prey did float;
But when he saw that I with fear did note
His purpose, proffering my own food to him,
The eager plumes subsided on his throat-- _3070
He came where that bright child of sea did swim,
And o'er it cast in peace his shadow broad and dim.

28.
'This wakened me, it gave me human strength;
And hope, I know not whence or wherefore, rose,
But I resumed my ancient powers at length; _3075
My spirit felt again like one of those
Like thine, whose fate it is to make the woes
Of humankind their prey--what was this cave?
Its deep foundation no firm purpose knows
Immutable, resistless, strong to save, _3080
Like mind while yet it mocks the all-devouring grave.

29.
'And where was Laon? might my heart be dead,
While that far dearer heart could move and be?
Or whilst over the earth the pall was spread,
Which I had sworn to rend? I might be free, _3085
Could I but win that friendly bird to me,
To bring me ropes; and long in vain I sought
By intercourse of mutual imagery
Of objects, if such aid he could be taught;
But fruit, and flowers, and boughs, yet never ropes he brought. _3090

30.
'We live in our own world, and mine was made
From glorious fantasies of hope departed:
Aye we are darkened with their floating shade,
Or cast a lustre on them--time imparted
Such power to me--I became fearless-hearted, _3095
My eye and voice grew firm, calm was my mind,
And piercing, like the morn, now it has darted
Its lustre on all hidden things, behind
Yon dim and fading clouds which load the weary wind.

31.
'My mind became the book through which I grew _3100
Wise in all human wisdom, and its cave,
Which like a mine I rifled through and through,
To me the keeping of its secrets gave--
One mind, the type of all, the moveless wave
Whose calm reflects all moving things that are, _3105
Necessity, and love, and life, the grave,
And sympathy, fountains of hope and fear,
Justice, and truth, and time, and the world's natural sphere.

32.