No More Learning

To thee, if to anyone, may I say, foul-mouthed Victius, that which is said
to wind bags and fatuities. For with that tongue, if need arrive, thou
couldst lick clodhoppers' shoes, clogs, and buttocks. If thou wishest to
destroy us all entirely, Victius, thou need'st but gape: thou wilt
accomplish what thou wishest entirely.

LXXXXVIIII.

Surripui tibi, dum ludis, mellite Iuventi,
Suaviolum dulci dulcius ambrosia.
Verum id non inpune tuli: namque amplius horam
Suffixum in summa me memini esse cruce,
Dum tibi me purgo nec possum fletibus ullis 5
Tantillum vostrae demere saevitiae.
Nam simul id factumst, multis diluta labella
Abstersti guttis omnibus articulis,
Ne quicquam nostro contractum ex ore maneret,
Tamquam conmictae spurca saliva lupae. 10
Praeterea infesto miserum me tradere Amori
Non cessasti omnique excruciare modo,
Vt mi ex ambrosia mutatum iam foret illud
Suaviolum tristi tristius helleboro.
Quam quoniam poenam misero proponis amori, 15
Numquam iam posthac basia surripiam.

LXXXXVIIII.

TO JUVENTIUS.

E'en as thou played'st, from thee snatched I (O honied Juventius! )
Kisslet of savour so sweet sweetest Ambrosia unknows.
Yet was the theft nowise scot-free, for more than an hour I
Clearly remember me fixt hanging from crest of the Cross,
Whatwhile I purged my sin unto thee nor with any weeping 5
Tittle of cruel despite such as be thine could I 'bate.
For that no sooner done thou washed thy liplets with many
Drops which thy fingers did wipe, using their every joint,
Lest of our mouths conjoined remain there aught by the contact
Like unto slaver foul shed by the buttered bun.
10
Further, wretchedmost me betrayed to unfriendliest Love-god
Never thou ceased'st to pain hurting with every harm,
So that my taste be turned and kisses ambrosial erstwhile
Even than hellebore-juice bitterest bitterer grow.
Seeing such pangs as these prepared for unfortunate lover, 15
After this never again kiss will I venture to snatch.

I snatched from thee, whilst thou wast sporting, O honied Juventius, a kiss
sweeter than sweet ambrosia. But I bore it off not unpunished; for more
than an hour do I remember myself hung on the summit of the cross, whilst I
purged myself [for my crime] to thee, nor could any tears in the least
remove your anger. For instantly it was done, thou didst bathe thy lips
with many drops, and didst cleanse them with every finger-joint, lest
anything remained from the conjoining of our mouths, as though it were the
obscene slaver of a fetid fricatrice. Nay, more, thou hast handed wretched
me over to despiteful Love, nor hast thou ceased to agonize me in every
way, so that for me that kiss is now changed from ambrosia to be harsher
than harsh hellebore. Since thou dost award such punishment to wretched
amourist, never more after this will I steal kisses.

C.

Caelius Aufilenum et Quintius Aufilenam
Flos Veronensum depereunt iuvenum,
Hic fratrem, ille sororem. hoc est, quod dicitur, illud
Fraternum vere dulce sodalitium.
Cui faveam potius? Caeli, tibi: nam tua nobis 5
Per facta exhibitast unica amicitia,
Cum vesana meas torreret flamma medullas.
Sis felix, Caeli, sis in amore potens.

C.

ON CAELIUS AND QUINTIUS.

Caelius Aufilenus and Quintius Aufilena,
Love to the death, both swains bloom of the youth Veronese,
This woo'd brother and that sue'd sister: so might the matter
Claim to be titled wi' sooth fairest fraternalest tie.