Was it because his self-love was wounded by the thought of
her who had disdainfully rejected him, or was it that still within his
heart yet lingered a spark of the same feeling which kept me silent?
her who had disdainfully rejected him, or was it that still within his
heart yet lingered a spark of the same feeling which kept me silent?
Pushkin - Daughter of the Commandant
"
I was about to continue as I had begun, and relate my connection with
Marya as openly as the rest. But suddenly I felt an unconquerable
disgust to tell such a story. It occurred to me that if I mentioned her,
the Commission would oblige her to appear; and the idea of exposing her
name to all the scandalous things said by the rascals under
cross-examination, and the thought of even seeing her in their presence,
was so repugnant to me that I became confused, stammered, and took
refuge in silence.
My judges, who appeared to be listening to my answers with a certain
good will, were again prejudiced against me by the sight of my
confusion. The officer of the Guard requested that I should be
confronted with the principal accuser. The General bade them bring in
_yesterday's rascal. _ I turned eagerly towards the door to look out for
my accuser.
A few moments afterwards the clank of chains was heard, and there
entered--Chvabrine. I was struck by the change that had come over him.
He was pale and thin. His hair, formerly black as jet, had begun to turn
grey. His long beard was unkempt. He repeated all his accusations in a
feeble, but resolute tone. According to him, I had been sent by
Pugatchef as a spy to Orenburg; I went out each day as far as the line
of sharpshooters to transmit written news of all that was passing within
the town; finally, I had definitely come over to the usurper's side,
going with him from fort to fort, and trying, by all the means in my
power, to do evil to my companions in treason, to supplant them in their
posts, and profit more by the favours of the arch-rebel. I heard him to
the end in silence, and felt glad of one thing; he had never pronounced
Marya's name.
Was it because his self-love was wounded by the thought of
her who had disdainfully rejected him, or was it that still within his
heart yet lingered a spark of the same feeling which kept me silent?
Whatever it was, the Commission did not hear spoken the name of the
daughter of the Commandant of Fort Belogorsk. I was still further
confirmed in the resolution I had taken, and when the judges asked me if
I had aught to answer to Chvabrine's allegations, I contented myself
with saying that I did abide by my first declaration, and that I had
nothing more to show for my vindication.
The General bid them take us away. We went out together. I looked calmly
at Chvabrine, and did not say one word to him. He smiled a smile of
satisfied hatred, gathered up his fetters, and quickened his pace to
pass before me. I was taken back to prison, and after that I underwent
no further examination.
I was not witness to all that I have still to tell my readers, but I
have heard the whole thing related so often that the least little
details have remained graven in my memory, and it seems to me I was
present myself.
Marya was received by my parents with the cordial kindness
characteristic of people in old days. In the opportunity presented to
them of giving a home to a poor orphan they saw a favour of God. Very
soon they became truly attached to her, for one could not know her
without loving her. My love no longer appeared a folly even to my
father, and my mother thought only of the union of her Petrusha with the
Commandant's daughter.
The news of my arrest electrified with horror my whole family. Still,
Marya had so simply told my parents the origin of my strange friendship
with Pugatchef that, not only were they not uneasy, but it even made
them laugh heartily. My father could not believe it possible that I
should be mixed up in a disgraceful revolt, of which the object was the
downfall of the throne and the extermination of the race of "_boyars_.
I was about to continue as I had begun, and relate my connection with
Marya as openly as the rest. But suddenly I felt an unconquerable
disgust to tell such a story. It occurred to me that if I mentioned her,
the Commission would oblige her to appear; and the idea of exposing her
name to all the scandalous things said by the rascals under
cross-examination, and the thought of even seeing her in their presence,
was so repugnant to me that I became confused, stammered, and took
refuge in silence.
My judges, who appeared to be listening to my answers with a certain
good will, were again prejudiced against me by the sight of my
confusion. The officer of the Guard requested that I should be
confronted with the principal accuser. The General bade them bring in
_yesterday's rascal. _ I turned eagerly towards the door to look out for
my accuser.
A few moments afterwards the clank of chains was heard, and there
entered--Chvabrine. I was struck by the change that had come over him.
He was pale and thin. His hair, formerly black as jet, had begun to turn
grey. His long beard was unkempt. He repeated all his accusations in a
feeble, but resolute tone. According to him, I had been sent by
Pugatchef as a spy to Orenburg; I went out each day as far as the line
of sharpshooters to transmit written news of all that was passing within
the town; finally, I had definitely come over to the usurper's side,
going with him from fort to fort, and trying, by all the means in my
power, to do evil to my companions in treason, to supplant them in their
posts, and profit more by the favours of the arch-rebel. I heard him to
the end in silence, and felt glad of one thing; he had never pronounced
Marya's name.
Was it because his self-love was wounded by the thought of
her who had disdainfully rejected him, or was it that still within his
heart yet lingered a spark of the same feeling which kept me silent?
Whatever it was, the Commission did not hear spoken the name of the
daughter of the Commandant of Fort Belogorsk. I was still further
confirmed in the resolution I had taken, and when the judges asked me if
I had aught to answer to Chvabrine's allegations, I contented myself
with saying that I did abide by my first declaration, and that I had
nothing more to show for my vindication.
The General bid them take us away. We went out together. I looked calmly
at Chvabrine, and did not say one word to him. He smiled a smile of
satisfied hatred, gathered up his fetters, and quickened his pace to
pass before me. I was taken back to prison, and after that I underwent
no further examination.
I was not witness to all that I have still to tell my readers, but I
have heard the whole thing related so often that the least little
details have remained graven in my memory, and it seems to me I was
present myself.
Marya was received by my parents with the cordial kindness
characteristic of people in old days. In the opportunity presented to
them of giving a home to a poor orphan they saw a favour of God. Very
soon they became truly attached to her, for one could not know her
without loving her. My love no longer appeared a folly even to my
father, and my mother thought only of the union of her Petrusha with the
Commandant's daughter.
The news of my arrest electrified with horror my whole family. Still,
Marya had so simply told my parents the origin of my strange friendship
with Pugatchef that, not only were they not uneasy, but it even made
them laugh heartily. My father could not believe it possible that I
should be mixed up in a disgraceful revolt, of which the object was the
downfall of the throne and the extermination of the race of "_boyars_.
